Feelings

[darfest]

@ryan_firecrotch
Hey man, I feel for you as My dad had Alzheimer's. If you ever want to talk to someone you can just hit me up, I wouldn't have pulled through if I kept it all inside.
xoxoxo

[raags]

texted my ex asking how she's doing (i broke up w/ her) after not speaking for 2mths since the breakup and sounds like she's coping fairly well which is heartwarming and kind of surprising but kind of not but really great to hear and upsetting simultaneously because i am so up and down over it but i couldn't ask for any outcome more so i am glad i wrote her and asked and i bawled like a child while replying to her reply and i guess i really just need to start moving on because it really sounds like she is which is really good but i miss her so much because she was my best friend lord i'm so confused but i know what i need to do and it's all going to be o k a y .

[Stingray Sam]

so i'm a highschool graduate i guess. I thought things were supposed to feel different

[bobo77]

Graduating from high school in two weeks. I'm feeling very anxious and depressed right now because I feel like I've wasted my high school. I haven't ever had a girlfriend or even a hookup (I know, not the indicator of life success) and I only really have one close friend right now, and have never had a consistent friend group. I'm sure I'll get over these emotions once I graduate and I get to summer trips and shit, but it's really suffocating right now. I'm anxious because I feel like there's some flaw I'm not privy to that's prevented me from ever having a romantic relationship (which then builds into a lack of self confidence which keeps me from trying anything (I don't even know the first thing about taking it beyond friends or reading signs or any of that shit) which just builds and builds my insecurities.), and that no one could ever like me like that. Everyone says college is gonna be better, and it probably will be, but I'm scared my mental roadblocks aren't gonna be overcome just by a new location, and I'm gonna be my same insecure, scared self in three months.

[raags]

^ You shouldn't need to apologise for your post in randomfashionthoughts - we all get judgey at times. No a big deal. All these fears are natural... and I think everyone goes through them. The won't disappear totally but you will learn to deal and hit your goals regardless (smiling) I am sure there are dozens of stories on this forum alone (myself included) of men (and women) who were incompetent with romance during high school and blossomed into sizzling charismatic sexpots. Oh baby. Good luck (smiling) x

[inherently]

- trust me, that's not a waste of high school. think about your ideal self/what you value. ask yourself why those things are your ideals.

having sex/losing virginity is a really stupid over-idealized/over-hyped social construct. it's enjoyable, but it's not life-changing. as for entering a relationship, that is actually a pretty life-changing experience. however, going in with the mindset "i want a relationship/girlfriend" is the wrong thing to do.

entering a relationship is not a magic bullet, and it will not magically solve anxiety/insecurity problems. it'll go from "why don't i have a girlfriend" to "i'm not good enough for my girlfriend". insecurity is something you have to work to get over; and it can definitely ruin relationships if ignored. also, girls/women are also imperfect people, just like everyone else. relationships are most definitely not all roses.

instead, you should go in with the mindset of "i want to make new friends and meet new people". Make friends with guys and girls, and relationships and stuff will naturally flow out of that, from friends of friends and mutual acquaintances and maybe even friends.

the other thing i want to stress is that going to college isn't a magic bullet either. you're exactly right that a new location won't be enough. college gives you the opportunities to grow and meet people - you just have to take them. make friends with the people in your dorm, make friends by joining clubs that interest you, make friends in the classes you take. but remember that you don't need to be the kind of person with a million friends - that's another ideal that may or may not be who you want to be

[inherently]

also when the hell did i start feeling qualified to give life advice

[vgtbls]

The good news about college is that 80% of freshmen are equally anxious about meeting people. The other 20% are lying to themselves. My best advice is suck it up and fake it for a while. Just talk to people early. Leave your dorm door open and invite people to eat/play games/whatever. You don't have to be best friends with these people, or even talk to them after a few weeks. Join clubs, or even just get on the mailing list. It seems like a lot of work, but the sooner you do it the more time you have to party with new friends. (smiling)

this goes out to all you incoming freshmen too.

ps go to class

[eufemism]

didn't really make friends in my first year at college. wouldn't be so bad if i had at least kept in touch with my high school friends, but i didn't. i just didn't enjoy being with the people i knew in high school by the time senior year came round. i didn't feel like i added anything to conversations and didn't share common interests with them. plus i never really felt any connection to most of my friends because i was rarely able to get out due to various reasons so i only saw them in school.

so now my summer is work> wait for the wc> look for clothes> read

[nick]

[Vaeltaja]

There's a chance I'm going to drop my CS major. I got a really low grade that I really don't think I deserved. If the protest goes well (from a D to at least a C), then I"ll keep the major. Otherwise, I'll drop to a minor, I think.

This is really annoying. My professor didn't really explain how he grades so my grade feels a lot lower than it ought to be :/

edit: to starfox64: basically my first email asked him why I got my D. He ended up going (essentially) listing one work as B work, two were about C+ work, one I went above and beyond on but he claims that it wasn't the assignment and I got an...ungraded? value on, and two (I think) that were below a C+ but still above an F. I forgot if he claimed I didn't turn one assignment in or not or if he gave me the C+ on it (even if it should have been at least B-).

[prawnzee]

why would anyone care enough about a grade to drop a major?

why care about grades at all?

someone from the merica pls explain

[asianfuntime]

it's been a week since summer break has started

and I'm already bummed out from the cancelled plans and boredom I've experienced.

what is there to do to make yourself entertained besides the internet in the summer?

[purkinje]

go on really really long bike rides

learn to play guitar

start a garden

catch up with friends you haven't seen in awhile

wake up really early and watch the sunrise

cook yourself extravagant meals

sketch things around you or from your imagination or both

read books you've been meaning to read but haven't

go cliff diving

break into an old barn or an abandoned building

marijuana + music if that's your thing

climb trees and survey your kingdom

walk several dozen miles at once

[chadnik]

watch a ton of movies, get a part time job (I recommend working in kitchens), go on hikes, go to local rivers/lakes/sinkholes, learn about the history of your town and go exploring it, try learning a new sport/language/instrument, volunteer at an animal shelter, go to live shows of bands you don't know anything about

[popcorn]

grades are a major source of Amerikanisch feels, they are super important to schools and occupations because they are a measure of your ability to listen to orders, not your ability to learn, and certainly not a metric of how much you know, people who know a lot just find it easier to get good grades.

i'm an AP student, but i'm not good with grades. i never was, and i don't think i ever will be at this rate. it's not that i'm not smart, or not capable - because i certainly have displayed ability at points - it's really only for people who are willing to let it be them. my gpa makes me worried about every stage of my life, sometimes i feel like a disappointment to my immediate family. i only have shallow hope for my grades in college.

[zayg]

I have a 4.0, albeit in an "easy major" at a school that isn't elite or anything. However, it isn't really that much of a measure of my knowledge as much as it is evidence that I'm actually putting in the effort to get shit done. Sadly it seems that most college students consider that as being some kind of genius although I'm not that smart. The majority of your college peers (unless you go to one of those elite schools I'm assuming) seem to spend too little time focused on their academics.

I had shit grades in high school because I didn't care, and now I have good grades in college because...well...I spend the time on it. I don't care as much about the academic world as some people seem to, I just think of it as being a decent goal. Maybe when I go for an MBA in a few years I'll at least have the grades to get into a good school. I would certainly drop my GPA a few points if I could exchange it for an internship this summer though...

[papabear]

Spent two weeks studying for this final but I still don't think I did very well on it. But at least I'm done with finals now! Time to start my new internship so I can make more money and buy more clothes.

[oldtrailmix]

small rant by my standards-

i'm in this shitty cycle of getting lonely, going online to make friends, adding them to skype, then deciding it's best not to talk ever again the following morning.

i mean i can try all of the shit suggested above but i'm really getting fucking sick of just having no on in my town that i click with, and yet i feel like it'd be cruel to be friends with these people all over the world for a summer before i wander off to college and make real life friends.

any activities that you find specifically curb loneliness really well? should i just keep on with these strangers anyway? ugjh.

[raags]

everyone is ok and deserves to be loved and treated well. all of you and everyone

[JewTurk]

So like freshman year I got in a bad accident wrestling, I was wearing a mouth guard and had braces (which probably saved me from having dentures top and bottom for the rest of my life) so the damage was minimal. Basically my two front teeth on my top got completely knocked out but were still attached to the braces, and my entire bottom jaw row of teeth collapsed inword, braces holding them inline and in my gums. Jaw was fractured though.

Funny enough the braces keeping the teeth in the gumline saved those teeth from any damage. The teeth that had their nerves severed (top) were a shot in the dark on whether or not my body would accept them. Most trauma cases aren't optimistic, but they rushed me to the ER and put them back in. Probably the most grooling 5 hours of my life. They didn't put me under, there was no actual doctor just some random guy who was about to leave the hospital but had a lot of experience in the field (can't remember his title, he wasn't a "DOCTOR" though) so someone grabbed him and rushed him into my room. 5-6 guys all just staring at me in awe, my face looked terrible, blood everywhere, teeth hanging out with wires all over the place. 5 hours of removing all my braces, collecting the teeth, moving my bottom jaw row of teeth back in place, then putting my braces back on. Fucking brutal. Parents whaling in the background.

I went home the next day and had severe bruising all over my mouth. The guy who did the procedure said it was unlikely that I'd keep any of the teeth that came out, but to see my ortho and my dentist and get some advice on how to approach the situation. They wanted to keep my braces on and have that 'adventure' finished before doing anything though so they could properly access the damage.

Me with braces, 4 months after the incident, still wrestling at 106's when this was taken, that's why I was skinny af.


About a year after the incident I got my braces off. Went to an endodontist and got four root canals, the drive home was brutal for me, something was definitely wrong. The procedure went fine but the pain was tremendous to the point that I was beating my head the whole drive home.

Insurance ended up covering a portion of the cost of the crown (not the veneer) because they were justified for "structural support", still rang up about $1,700 to get it all done. Parents wanted me to pay for it because they felt it was all cosmetics and, well, that part sucked. So for a poor high schooler with a single (at the time) shitty job, this was costing me pretty much every dime I had to my name

Approx a year after the incident, wrestling at 125's.


Well about 1 month after I got my crown and veneer I went in for a routine check up and my doctor was probing around and felt a little "bump" under my gumline. Turns out the teeth that actually came out were being rejected by my body. They said in most trauma incidents the body immediately rejects the teeth. So if that was the case for me they wouldn't have gone through the trouble of putting a veneer and a crown over these teeth to make them look good. Tons of doctor visits, just, dissolving into my mouth. All that money, from what I knew, was now just dissolving into my fucking mouth.

The technical term is resorption (see: http://www.mcardledmd.com/what-is-resorption-.html). All the work I've done up to this point, doctor appts every other week for months and months is all just dissolving into my mouth.

At that specific doctor visit when he felt that "bump" ,which was essentially a spot where my actual tooth was dissolving, he left the room immediately, came back and took an x-ray, then left again and came about in about 20 minutes. When he told me the news, this was roughly a year after the incident and I was so happy in the moments before this visit about how lucky I was with my teeth, I just started crying. I drove myself to all of my appts and I was just so alone, sad, confused about what to do/say... Just bawling now. I was out of money, knew I would need a shitton of more procedures to make my mouth presentable again. And I NEEDED to get something done in my mouth or all that would be left would be these fucking stumps of a tooth dissolving. The crown and veneers would slowly lose their grip and fall out, exposing the old tooth stumps.

Well, I came to terms with my bad luck, but I have my HOPEFULLY last procedure in about two weeks from today. I'm getting the teeth removed and then for the next two-three years I'll have to have a "flapper" which is basically a denture but only for a few teeth. I won't be able to get the titanium screws put in for quite a few years because my facial plate can still possibly shift/change/grow, which sucks. Aesthetically my face will look fine but I'll have to take it out to eat which will be a little embarrassing.

To be completely honest, I'm horrified to get the teeth removed I just want to cry. Right now my teeth are fine, the resorption is very slow so I still have my veneer and crown in. I'm horrified that it'll be really obvious that I have a missing tooth and that this flapper will look like shit. And I'll have to have it for the next 2-3 years... After all the work/money I've gone through, to be looking at going through it again is really scary and daunting.

e:

I a word

[Blastoise]

I was going to put this in my rep but it was too long. Not nearly as severe, but one of my friends has a fake tooth and I didn't even realize it until she told me months after we first met. I usually forget about it, it looks exactly like the rest of her teeth. I hope that's reassuring. She can shoot it out of her mouth, kind of cool actually.

Anyway, hope it all works out. It'll be alright.

[JewTurk]

[bels]

Jesus that is hardcore as hell. I act like a complete bitch if I have a filling what are you made of son, cobalt and cadmium?

[nevergreen]

was thinking about this last night, but it's been 11 months since my girlfriend at the time broke up with me after a little over a year and so much has changed. i used to care about her so much i thought i was gonna experience everything with her (which may be a bit naive but it was my first time in love) and it just all stopped. haven't talked to her since then but a couple months ago i guess she was talking to my friend (who's also my friend) and apparently she broke up with her boyfriend and she misses me or something. it's weird. i'm so over it and her and all of a sudden he tells me this person who is not in my life anymore misses me and wants to talk to me. i think weird is honestly the best word to describe the feeling rn.

i still care about her (though not in the same way of course) i want her to do well in her life and i hope she does what she wants, but it's weird the effect i can have on someone without being in their life... 11 months is a long time. sometimes i wanna talk to her just to catch up and see how she's doing but i can't be the one to text her first cause i don't know how she'd react to it like it would be selfish of me to talk to her for myself. i feel like it's the same situation with her which kind of sucks, but i don't know for sure.

weird

[kewks]

my next day off is Sunday the 29th and my last day off was Wednesday the 18th. HELP

[stappard_]

[jrisk]

what do you guys do about pictures of/with ex's? My auto-upload folder on dropbox is full of them. I feel kind of ambivalent about keeping them. We broke up 8ish months ago and we have had zero contact. Will I ever regret deleting them?

[raags]

Was it an amicable breakup i.e. do you still have good feelings about her and the times you shared? I broke up with my ex a bit over two months ago and still have all our photos together and will keep a record of them somewhere - but our breakup was on good terms. I think I'd regret it if I deleted them but your cicrcumstances may be different.

[jrisk]

it wasn't an amicable breakup but there aren't any negative feelings towards the rest of the relationship. I think I'm going to throw them all in a folder so they're more or less archived.