by freddy » Sun Mar 09, 2014 2:41 pm
I had all the friends in the world, but my personal conflicts regressed so much it overwhelmed and severed my relationships with them despite many of them reaching out. What was really the issue was not growing up in a stable family environment, so my personal emotional needs were never acknowledged or met, thus I had repressed them over time until conflicts in typical life became the catalyst for a mental breakdown (in which I resorted to Reddit and fashion as an escape and coping mechanism), where you've reached your limited encapsulating yourself from expressing such needs. Many times, it's difficult for friends to reach out if you lose emotional-attunement and connection with them once you've regressed. A therapist is great to establish an alliance with someone whom will professionally help you untangle the convoluted past experiences, so you can amass internal security w/ an empathetic ear that your parents may not have been able or know or afford to provide. A lot of your personality structure or core personality stems from how you grew up in relation to your parents, all types of friends come along the way depending on your personality and interests. The relationship for friends are very dynamic in that they're unfortunately more situation-oriented and context-dependent, whereas parents are forever internalized in your mental headspace for the eternal security they are suppose to ingrain you with. It's difficult to put friends in the position for your personal emotional needs that parents weren't able to tune-in and help you, sometimes their reaching out can only go so far, and much of it has do with much deeper insecurities/issues growing-up.
To engage in therapy with a therapist is a good thing, don't be deterred by the negative stigma and misinformed ignorant shaming out there for utilizing professional help. Many folks are likely in the same boat on being able to more openly vulnerable with their emotions, some people will bottle-up their feels because of their family culture disbelieving mental health (and not knowing about Freud) or that they simply don't know any better. Realize that by standing-up to these usually issues of intergenerational conflicts that were likely unfortunately bestowed upon you during childhood and the relationship with parents will be worthwhile in consideration for the future generations that come thereafter you. Being more emotionally-open and emotionally-connected with others is a good thing, forming secure relationships (which is a two-way street) are a pathway towards a life full of vitality.