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I took 3.5 grams of psilocybin mushrooms yesterday with two others and wandered around a park and outside the museum of fine arts. are outside the museum doors and were thoroughly terrifying. Played with some trees for awhile, saw a great blue heron. Recommended experience overall, all three of us agreed that we felt kind of changed afterwards. It's hard to explain the feeling and effects to someone not on mushrooms but it felt like there were a bunch of coherent thoughts in my head and they were all in gridlock to try to get into words. It's cliché but I feel like I kind of have a better understanding of human interaction.

sorry for the weird encounter on hemenway I was on drugs

successful first date

i don't know how i'm ever going to afford to live anywhere i want to live and that makes me really upset

nvm im tired

Wore my suit to work today and my pseudo rival said I looked like I was going to a job interview at Next.

I laughed it off but that's probably the most complete burn I've ever received and I don't think I'll ever recover.

guitar pedals/accessories/parts have completely taken over all of my money.
and i'm pretty excited about it.

it took me a month but I've completely retooled the front of house at my restaurant and God damn it feels nice. firing people is really unpleasant but I've forgotten how rewarding it is to work with people who are mutually enthusiastic, driven and passionate.

Yess! Got what I needed on the ACT! Lol at science though. Only needed the Math score.

Look at my last science score:

the quality of my social life has decreased but i've had some really good job interviews so maybe no cop is almost over

Feel like I missed out on a lot of experiences in high school. Went to the very last game of the season, and there's an area for senior only where everybody gets super hyped. It was so much fun and I regretted not going to more games. Also feel like I should have done sports, or that maybe I should have taken band instead of orchestra so I could be in drumline. Guess I just feel like I should have been more involved instead of trying to focus on primarily academics.

I think part of why I feel this way is because I joined the yearbook class this year, and seeing all the pictures of sports and clubs and all that good stuff makes me wish I could have been a part of something like that. Mariachi used to be just that for me and I loved it, everyone was super close knit and we always had fun. But this year we got a new director, people graduated, new students joined who don't show up often, and two of our members are constantly yelling at each other over stupid shit. No where near as fun as it used to be.

So I had a semi-awkward conversation with adrology... "uh yeah I banked sperm with you guys 7 years ago... as per my pediatric oncologist do you still have it :S?"

"did you get a letter in the mail"

"no that's why I'm calling and I'm all ears about this, i dunno anything"

"if you want us to store it, it's $495 a year charge"

"but what about the time when you guys didn't notify me... uh all this time??"

"well we have samples and specimens from dead people that we are in the process of clearing because we've running out of storage soon"

"oh so this is good timing...so if I don't call, I won't get charge, but if I do call I'll get charged?"

"well if you let us know we'll know to put it aside and keep it."

"..."

"yeah well, i don't know anything because my oncologist just had me bank and I didn't get any notifications about this... and I've had many restless nights about this (damn wtf $495 a year??)"

"okay well let me get back to you and let me see if I can find your file first"

;_;

People can say what they want about you Freddy, but you always push the envelope and bring us something truly unique.

Beginning to think i'm more introverted than I thought after going from a long distance relationship to seeing my SO every day.

Its nice, but its also exhausting and when I said I needed space to be alone once a week or so in order to recharge she took it as me not caring about her.

overall though, things are looking up. Started studying more and school is going a lot better (whodathunkit??) and two of my favorite bands announced shows on weekends i'll be in my hometown

Good news. They left a voicemail saying they found it -- 6 vitals -- asking if I want to use it or save it. I suppose it's a good thing that I got a "free" vasectomy and the only way I'll impregnate someone is if some chick sperm-jacks me by raiding the sperm bank. Though, I'm afraid to call back because I don't have $495 to pony up nor do I need to 'use' it right now.... fuck

edit: whoa wait, I can possibly use a FSA for this right? I guess it's not so bad after all then...whew

just got an absolute shit grade on my thesis paper. that pretty much sums up how my entire semester has been going (minus my photo class). i feel so incredibly fucking dumb and a little worthless right now

thanks for all the kind words guys. i really appreciate it. i'm just very stressed because this semester has not been going well grade wise and i'm under a lot of pressure to do well because i had a period of depression/not caring after a relationship ended last semester that caused me to do very poorly and end up on academic probation for this semester. so the fact that i'm not seeing the results i need this semester is really killing me.

I recently got together on Xbox Live with a friend that I used to play halo 3 with back when it released. We were pretty close back then and would play all the time with like 5-10 other people. Some of these people ended up meeting up and I know a few who ended up together for a while. Anyway. We were playing Destiny and just catching up and she had told me that her and bunch of the old gang met up for a funeral of one of our friends. He was no older than 25 and his heart just stopped. I didn't know this guy too well - we just played matchmaking on the weekends, but he was a super funny and very kind guy. It kind of struck a weird chord with me, and it made me sort of sad.

On a related note, this got me thinking that it's groups like that (and this) that I think I really am glad to be a part of.

gonna be moving soon. not sure how to feel about it, i guess i'm glad because there's nothing here for me now. not 100% sure where yet, probably kelowna.

my sister's almost finished with her rehabilitation, apparently she's been doing a lot better, so that's good. going to go visit her in december around her birthday, she'll probably come home around that time too.

Put down my dog of 16 years today. Fuck

it's like everyone has an expectation from me, wants me to be apart of something, but what is it that I want to be?

hi all im new to this fourm. does anyone know how to reply to replies on a quick reply or something? or how do i reply to posts here

just post after them or tag them. check the sticked post

tonight i met up with some old friends and played the new smash, drank soda, ate candy, and then sat in the cold for hours and just talked about whatever we wanted to and it felt really freeing if that makes any sense. I haven't hung out with any people I already knew for a while and it was really refreshing to not have to worry about making first impressions and knowing that these people already know about me and i know about the context their stories fit into and it was good to catch up with everyone and i feel much more like i actually have friends than i did before

back in new hampshire for the weekend

i miss friends

people that talk behind your back are shitty people. i've gotten mad with people but not like today. i swear my ears were starting to get red when i heard this guy talking about me and laughing at me. i was soooo close to putting this guy on the ground.


i know it sounds pathetic now that i write it down but i just need to get it off my chest.

i managed to just play it cool and not let it ruin my night. later he was talking to me like everything was ok

What did he say?

2nd dog to pass away for us this year. They both lived loooong and wonderful lives but very sad nonetheless.

Here he is modeling with my little brother last summer.

Broke up today with the girl I've been dating for 14 months now. Longest relationship yet. I feel so bad, but at the same time, I know it is for the best. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do though.

i feel like i'm finally being pressured by college. i've taken my life way too easily for my entire life, and finally understanding what it means to put effort in is a very enlightening experience.

i took a course that i had absolutely no interest in (my fault entirely), but it's seriously messed with my mojo and any studying i do for it (which is barely any as is) completely goes out some other hole on my body. i have a week long break and another full week to really sit down and study so that my last exam bumps me up to a passing grade.

i had a really lovely date tonight with a very cool girl.

i hope that we're both just awkward and that's why when we parted ways it felt awkward and not because she doesn't like me.