All is Full of Love

[UnwashedMolasses]

[Suquida]

[sid3000]

My relationship history has been a hot mess for the most part but as I move on from each one I always find a common thread that I should improve on, that is, expecting way too much out of that someone. I dont know why I tend to feel entitled to 100% from people that I start to invest myself in, and how awkward that becomes when youre not moving at the same pace. It's easy for me to forget that people have different growths and experiences that heavily influence the way they express their emotions and preferences and losing sight of that usually causes me to become bitter and resent that person for doing something "to me" or "treating me" in such and such way.

I'd like to think this is normal; I enjoy the opportunity of making mistakes and learning from them the first time, but this is a mistake I keep repeating. I have to work on zooming out more often when it gets to these points and reduce expectations for my acts both of interest and forgiveness.

[fechner]

Whoops oversharing

[bels]

Don't stay together because you're afraid.

[fechner]

Whoops more oversharing
(Things turned out alright)

[radicalbusiness]

whatsup c-t. I know I don't talk to y'all much but I have a lot of love for this community even as (usually) a bystander. So I may as well throw some of my thoughts and questions out there.

I'm young, 19, and naturally still have a lot of areas in my life that I feel I need to develop. I can be a super bad communicator, I have a hard time understanding exactly what my intentions are, lack of organization in general etc... I feel like because I see myself in this way I am psyching myself out from pursuing relationships with people.

Last year this amazing girl gave me her number, and I know she's still around here after traveling in Spain but I let the offer expire by never contacting her. Over the last year I feel like that type of interaction has been repeated several time's to different degrees, where I blow it when someone expresses interest in me.

The thing is, I know there are qualities in me that I really respect and love, and I have faith that others can see those in me too. But I can't help but feel I'm straight up not ready to get involved with someone because it'll just end up as a mess like other relationships in the past have turned out.

What I feel like I'm battling with is the choice to grow "trial-by-fire" or to just spend more time alone pursuing my own endeavors and enter that realm when I really feel ready.

[harmsalmon]

love and sex are too complicated and impossible and I thought I had something good with someone who excites me more than almost anyone ever but it turns out it is nothing and now i am somehow in a place that was worse than when i started and i think that nothing i want will ever work out for me and side note mental illness is terrible to work with in any form of relationship.

welcome to college i guess!!!!!

this feels stupid to post but evidently i just need to vent somehow

[julius]

I've been feeling pretty confused for a while about all my feels so this is me venting

I don't really know what I expect from people anymore so I don't think I really know what I want from anyone. When I was really interested in a relationship I'd kinda build people up in my head and when I was with them have a good time, but because of that building up there'd always be something off. I figured I was asking a lot from someone with that expectation. Like, people are only who they are from their experiences blah blah, if someone was organized than I think something must've happened to them, conscious or not, that encouraged them to be like that. And asking someone to go through something seemed more demanding than asking for someone to be something. So it made people more interesting, and myself more empathetic, but it also made me pretty neutral about everyone. Which is nice since I don't expect as much from people so if something goes well it goes really well to me, but when talking to people I feel so much less fiery and passionate, which is kind of whatever but I miss the intensity I used to have with particular people. It really made me question why I feel something about someone, and while it's nice to figure things like this out it's also pretty disenchanting. and if I do meet someone whose nice enough than it's sorta me building up how I finally met someone and than I'm where I was left off.

I think what I want is someone to talk to about all this stuff but my feelings about it are a kind of intense confusion and while I try to make it approachable if something relatable is brought up or if I spent the day thinking more about it and someone asks what I've been wondering about, I don't really get much reciprocation. I don't really know beyond that but yeah,I dig what I'm doing in school so I'm findin other ways to liveee and feel loveee

And while that's been happening, a few people have told me they had feelings for me, and each time I had no idea, and they'd mention times they thought it was obvious but I thought it was just us hangingout. The most recent person told me how they talked to other people about it and how those people said they shouldn't expect anything since I'm super ignorant about that stuff and how I may have become asexual. I thought it was pretty, genuinely, funny since I can see their perspective, but it's also pretty disheartening since that's what people are told when they say they have feelings for me

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

getting serious with this girl is making it really hard to be cool and ironic all the time

[Stolsdos]

Looks like I might be going on a date with a girl from Tinder this weekend. Hopefully it goes well. My previous girlfriend and I fell apart after we(at least I did) realized we did not have much in common besides a mediocre sex drive. I think I just need to make sure I take her and myself seriously AND trust my friends' judgement(to some extent).

[popcorn]

we watched a holocaust movie last thursday night, held hands, listened to wilco, got food at 2 AM, and the fact that i am moving 709.2 miles away in 4 months is suddenly not as fun