Feelings

[can-]

[starfox64]

as of yesterday, yes

[teck]

welcome! what are you going to do here?

[starfox64]

thanks!

i'm working for the same edtech company i worked for in korea. not super exciting but it's cool to start something new.

[bueno]

I think I have a bit of problem with anxiety and have been trying my best to ignore/overcome it myself without much success for a while. will probably go to doctor this week. :/

[Blastoise]

[starfox64]

i had lunch with my ex girlfriend today.

like ten minutes after, i got an invite to a birthday thing shes throwing this week.

[fuxwitit]

i'm so dissatisfied with where i am in life right now. i have no motivation to do much of anything anymore and it's so frustrating. i used to come home from school and go for a bike ride, play with my dog, do something or other, and now i just lay in bed all day on my computer. i didn't apply to any colleges and i don't even know why i didn't. i might have been too lazy or scared or nervous but now everyone else at school is so excited with their acceptance letters and i feel like shit. looking at the friends i have i realize that i barely have any and that's so depressing to me. the only time i feel truly comfortable is when i'm with my girlfriend. i have no idea what i'm going to do in life. i got my lifeguarding job back for the summer, but then what? i'm so scared for the future and my parents aren't helping with their fussing and yelling and complaining about how lazy and unmotivated i am. i'm going through too much right now.

sorry for the wall of text, i needed somewhere to vent. and even though i haven't been here long, the community here is incredibly loving and i'm so thankful to be a part of this website. thanks guys. (love)

[RycePooding]

too long for rep comment:

Chill, breath, take a step back. What do you want to do next year? Figure out what steps you need to take to do what you want to do it, and take it one step at a time. Things could be a lot lot worse, trust me. Sounds like you want to change things, and that's the most important step in making that happen.

[fuxwitit]

i've flip flopped so much on what i want to do/study. i used to be huge into computer science then lost interest, but now i'm thinking i might want to do something with animals, i feel like that's something i would really enjoy. i think as of right now i'm gonna try to take my core classes at community college and see where i go from there, maybe i'll find some electives to experiment in.

i really do want to change how i'm living right now, every day is so dull and just bleeds into the next day. i think a big part of it is my boring sedentary lifestyle.

i really do appreciate you taking the time to talk this out to me (smiling)

thank you so much, that means a lot

[kyung]

there's nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do, i'd say this is pretty normal for some people just about to start college/this chapter of their life. i've certainly felt it. i was afraid of committing to anything re: a major because I didn't want to spend time doing something I'd eventually lose interest in. But i've realized that being too afraid to start anything doesn't really get you anywhere

you're not the only one feeling these feels :o)

[fun_yunchables]

there's nothing wrong with taking things slowly. my recommendation is to take a deep breath and break your dilemmas in managable problems, and tackle with a calm mind. making decisions when stressed and anxious is never the way to go.

there's nothing wrong with not knowing what to do, almost everyone has felt/still feels this way. not many people are clear and definite about what they plan to do.

start to take things slowly. maybe tomorrow after classes you can take a 15 minute bike ride around, or maybe walk your dog for a small amount of time? it's a great way to escape the stress and anxiety, even for a short time. that way, when you come back to confront these dilemmas, you will have a clearer mindest.

[zayg]

[Ques]

Hooked up with a guy on Saturday and ever since then I've been sad and wanted a relationship and realized that hes basically perfect and why did i hookup with him and i should have tried for a relationship and today he texted me asking to get coffee (smiling)

[fun_yunchables]

i feel super happy today and i don't even know why! today is wonderful

[Bobbin.Threadbare]

Decent internship (sounds like it anyway)

http://ukfashionintern.com/2014/04/mens ... nternship/

[Bobbin.Threadbare]

Decent internship (sounds like it anyway)

http://ukfashionintern.com/2014/04/mens ... nternship/

[lostie]

i have an application due at midnight (in ~2 hours) that i completely forgot about. i'm stressed out and my hands are shaking and i can't focus

[RycePooding]

[lostie]

nvm just got an extension from the executive director... was about to delete my post but leaving it for posterity. thanks :D :D :D :D

[rudy]

Finished my last classes yesterday. Had a couple of gin and tonics with the girl I'm dating and climbed the fence to get to our school's track. One of those perfect, slightly chilly nights. We both did a naked lap, then just sat on the roof of the press box for a good hour. I think it's the most romantic thing I've ever done.

I also finally got an internship offer today. Giving the finger to all of the corporate offices that rejected me and working for an awesome local start up. Never been so excited to start work in my life. It's been a good past few days (smiling)

[hunnish]

Drank 100 oz of black tea to stay awake all night and write a research paper

:D











:D




















8D

[RomanEmpire]

Had another orchestra UIL competition yesterday and got straight 1's
Trophy pic:

[exprof]

I just mixed up my anti-depressants with my sleeping pills and I was just about to study... o_o

[charybdis]

Crepe brunches are amazing. I think I understand what happiness is now.

vkjskhshg (I forget what random assortment of letters you are on here) have you come to portland yet? Because if you have not, we should go eat brunch together.

[parastexis]

First time living along since last summer. I hate living alone.

[RycePooding]

I'm feeling this deep loss at the reckless abandon I had as a child. Not the drunken stupid reckless abandon I have now, but the days when I would spend hours trying to stand up on my bicycle seat while riding it across the front yard.

I find myself missing the days when my greatest goal was to hit a tennis ball that I pitched to myself across not only my front yard, but the neighbors too, into their woods.

I was just looking at pictures from when I was a kid and in the same week had two teeth knocked out by an errant swing of a baseball bat and two more knocked out by a frisbee thrown too hard at my face.

I used to be happy fighting a wall with a canoe paddle in the shallow end of the pool while people played with each other around me.

Its not to say that I'm afraid of getting older, but maybe that the complexities of being an adult are finally becoming real to me. I'm almost ashamed that I feel this way, but it would be silly to deny myself my true feelings.

I guess the fact that I'm graduating college in two weeks and have little to no idea what I'm about to do with my life is hitting me all of a sudden. I am going to travel by myself for the foreseeable future, I think because it's the only way that I can recapture the childhood reckless abandon and wonder.

The day I hit that tennis ball into the woods was one of the proudest moments of my life, at the time.

[kyung]

today i watched my neighbor teach her daughter how to ride a bike. she looked so damn confident with her little pink helmet on and her mom kept telling her to "PEDAL PEDAL PEDAL!" and once she gained enough momentum and started riding I could hear her hollering down the street "I DID IT MOM I DID IT"

really took me back to when summer days were filled with badminton matches and cool cellar sleepovers in cardboard box forts. we played swords with baseball bats and rode around the woods looking for bugs and turtles on our bmx bikes, and just hearing the ice cream truck jingle in the distance sent us into a wild frenzy. i'm in awe that i exited that part of my life with only a couple scars and not a couple limbs missing considering how dumb we were. i remember once we filled a plastic bottle with vinegar and baking soda and had the cops called on us because the resulting explosion had apparently sounded like a gunshot. it's so strange because it seems like ~the good old days~ were not long ago at all, yet the very same friends i shared those memories with are now off getting jobs, or joining the army, or unfortunately just not here anymore.

i can definitely relate to the idea of wanting to recreate that sense of wonder/excitement about things again



:o)

[k0g]

[maj]

why did you get kicked out? full story needed