Feelings

[ramseames]

honestly the biggest criticism you could make of that is that asking dudes what they look for in a girl is such a meaningless thing outside of trying to get in the pants of those specific dudes. Walking on a catwalk isn't degrading and it sounds like the guys who'll be doing it will likely be volunteers anyway.

Its obviously heteronormative in the sense that they're only asking men about women but i have no idea how you'd run an event of that nature that would be all encompassing in terms of gender/sexuality and whether or not you'd gain anything from it since greek life in general is a very heterosexual thing.

[Stingray Sam]

I've been having some troubles with anxiety lately and i don't know what to do. Since last night i've been feeling really anxious about everything and i keep feeling like every little thing has the potential to send me over the edge. I'm about to go to school and i'm hoping that i can get through that trouble free.

[Stingray Sam]

Shit i'm not going to be able to make it to class today :\ fuck

[bels]

Got into an argument because someone didn't know who Kanye West is.

"OK, but I'm just saying, he's really famous."
"Well he can't be that famous."
"He's really famous."

[brlmski]

[hunnish]

If you want gender inequality, my school has both all female and all male dorms. When a guy is in a female dorm, he's required to have a female escort (harr harr) to walk around the halls. If someone is caught ignoring this rule, they can get a conduct referral from an RA. Of course, girls require no escort in the male dorm.

[Stingray Sam]

i skipped school because i was too anxious to leave the house

[asianfuntime]

another feel

I've been struggling with bad anxiety and slight depression lately. I've been talking to a girl lately, and we've grown close with each other. she got mad at me and now it's not the best as of right now.

I keep getting scared of the actions I do. I never know if I should say this or say that. even asking someone what shoes they're wearing makes me anxious.

I hope everyone has had a good week. this week hasn't been the greatest, but hopefully next week is better.

[freddy]

going home last night, i recognized an old classmate from elementary school whom I recall was kiddie crushing on me hard back then. i broke the ice asking her if she went to X school but she had a deadpan face bug-eyed the entire time. I busted on her remembering her for being a psycho-bitch stabbing our 3rd grade teacher with a pencil and her father had to come to school. she was with a friend and we all had TJ paper bags (i stopped by my mom's place; she gave me one to carry my mail lol) i found out she lived in china after for 7 years and returned back here for school. apparently i've changed too much for her to recognize me but she recognized my name as if she was trying to recollect her experiences and i told her to go home and find old school pics. she said i sat next to her, which i don't remember at all - i just remember her for being a crazy ginger girl

and apparently we live within like 10 mins of each other!

[RomanEmpire]

Been feeling pretty down lately. I'm not even sure why, I think it's just a bunch of little things building up. I hardly ever get to talk or see my girlfriend, we don't have any classes together, so we hardly see each other during school. Outside of school we text but during the weekdays we both have a lot of homework, and on the weekends we sometimes have stuff to do so we don't get to talk much then. Also neither of us can drive, so we need to depend on our parents if we ever want to hang out, and my dad isn't home much because he has two jobs, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

I talk to my friends a lot more than I used to, but for some reason I still feel lonely sometimes. We usually Skype and play League or something, and we hang out on weekends more than pretty much ever before because they have licenses and can drive places to go hang out. But sometimes we'll be in a Skype call and I'll just be sitting there with nothing to contribute to the conversation. I feel really bored with everything, but at the same time there's so much that I want to do but can't, hopefully that will change soon. I want to go running or exercise in some way, but it's been too cold, but now that it's warming up I should be able to do it and that might help clear my mind a bit.

I have a younger brother who is 9 years old, and very overweight, I worry about this the most. I used to be overweight, but not as overweight as him, and I eventually lost weight. I feel like when he gets to middle school he's going to get bullied, and I'm just so so worried about him. I want to help him but I don't know how, I want him to lose weight, I want to get closer to him, I feel very distant from him. I hate how my family functions sometimes. I hate that me, my sister, and my brother just sit in our rooms all day, and I really really want to get closer to my siblings, especially him, but I just don't know what to do. I keep telling myself to interact with him more, to play video games with him at least once a week because that's what he loves doing. But at the same time I want to do something to encourage him to lose weight but I don't know how to do it. My whole family has a history of being overweight. My parents are overweight, and as a family we have horrible eating habits. My parents know it's unhealthy, and they do try to change our diets, they really do, but we still struggle as a family. I just feel so helpless and I want to protect him so much. I have a younger sister that is only 3 years old and I fear the same thing happening to her, I don't want her to get overweight and struggle with losing weight like me and my other sister did, like my brother is going to have to do.

Sorry for rambling on, I just have a lot on my mind and really needed to vent.

[kewks]

just got back from visiting my boyfriend in smalltown tennessee. his mother is absolutely racist. and literally the worst person I've ever met in my life, not exaggerating. help.
help. monster-in-law to the max. she hates anybody that isn't white. hates gay people. hates anybody and everybody, really.

she thought it was annoying and stupid how i wanted to go to places.. I've been to their small town three times now and I hadn't been more than 30 minutes outside of the place, other than the airport. she also thought it was annoying how I cheered for Canada during the Olympics. ??!!??!!!!?????????????

[okayfruit]

So out of stress and just generally being sick of human contact in general, I decided to forgo calling my mom for 2 whole days.

It should be fair to say that, generally, I speak to her at least once a day.

This afternoon I got a call from the campus police that she tried to file a missing persons report on me. In 5th grade she forgot that I had to go to a girl scout activity after school, and then called the police. In high school I came home at midnight once when I told her I'd be home at 10, and I came home to find a police officer standing at my doorstep. This time, I'm not even surprised. Helicopter parents be cray.

[sknss]

[RomanEmpire]

[omgimacarrot]

This commercial infuriates me. I've been really sensitive to "gender norms" since I've been in a small conservative town, but this is absurd. I don't even have words.

[chilljin]

im wired
i love this forum
i love my life
i love tropical squash
i love this song thats on i dont know whats its called tho but its making me jam

[freddy]

U kno u need a haircut when ghey creepers are hitting you more often bc of long hair making me looking effimate/feminine

lol it's also mad annoying when I'm trying to eat and relax in peace and this sales clerk always takes her break cops food and slyly sits next/near me. Every fucking time. Like, I'm trying to enjoy my time scoping not u

it also sucks that I'm living with my friend and his family trying to do psuedo family systems theapy-psychoanalysis to get the widowed aunt to stop being such a dick and she gets way too inapproptiately intimate sometimes

I realize going to H mart 2 months ago for the first timer ever (idaf about kimchi) that lol holy shit I am relatively tall. But can azns stop fussing about my height? I mean white ppls do it too At least can u do it now in a childish/infantile idealizing way like u starve tonight because u don't have enough vertical looking at me. Srybutimnotsry.

I don't really blend in with my home people bc I look Korean or Mandarin-speaking looking Chinese and my Cantonese is never intuned with others with a specific locality even though it's good. Dont hang with Koreans. Why the fick do they always rep that poker-face face.

I think I am more a cultured in American and ghetto-speak but conversely I don't know shit or telling u anything if you're white and would like to go to China. I'm just as much interested to hear your plans than you would like to solicit ideas out of me

Sometimes I feel like what I'm wearing is garnering too much tecogning but then u kno.. Identity. When wearing whatever the fuck u want becomes problematic socially IRL #ballerfashionproblems

Was at the library borrowing books and wanted 2 mess on the Internet earlier this week because they have pretty big LCD for a public institution, chilling with the buns and retired old people until many moments later I was peeping on the corner realizing that this old Chinese dude was flicking soft core (azn) porn (no lie i was tryna admire why he was admiring bc u kno kinda weird not seeing RTW womenswear fashion ) whilst reading the online newspaper back and forth. I was too awestruck because I haven't really been hanging with Azn old school folks for a while, so I was just peeing for a while until I felt disgusted for 3rd wheeling in his experience, ten I look back and there was this old Chinese grandma that was aware of me and the old geezer.

I'm pissed that I can't access some libraries. Interlibrary loan takes too long. Libations can be depressing sometimes yet enlightening too!

There are other stuff that I will remain unsaid that triumphs this

[IsaiahSchafer]

I drove to Las Vegas (took forever because of lane closures) all yesterday. Get in, get comped some crap cause it took forever to get our room. Ate our free Denny's breakfast this morning and now I'm trying to not throw up and I haven't even been out on the strip yet. :(

[asianfuntime]

I won an auction for charity at my school to become a cheerleader for a day

will post pictures in cheerleader uniform (women's specifically) tomorrow

[asianfuntime]

[purkinje]

I know that feeling :/ Give it some time and eventually you'll move on.

[rudy]

Got final round interviews for every internship that I applied to!!! Spending the next few weeks flying all over for on-site stuff. I'm really looking forward to wearing a suit on a plane.

[prawnzee]

<Pronssi> I FUCKING BOMBED THE INTERVIEW
<Pronssi> AND BY THAT I MEAN I WAS THE BOMB AND THE INTERVIEW CITY IS NOW IN RUINS, REKT, I DESTROYED IT! I AM VERY CONFIDENT

YEEEE BOY

[anonomous]

Any of you middle childs? I was wondering if we could get a middle child syndrome discussion going. Being a middle child i think i kind of suffer(might be too strong a word) from this and it's kinda hard to relate when i talk to friends about it because not a lot of them are middle childs.

[jrisk]

middle child here, dude. maybe a bit different though since there's more than than three of us (is that a requirement?)

it's kind of a blessing and a curse. you get to fly under the radar most times.

[agvs]

I'm the middle of 7 children. I've never really looked into middle child syndrome or anything though. I never thought much about it I guess.

[Mippipopolous]

I'm getting really tired of being a wallflower. I just feel like there's this train passing me by and I don't know how to get on, I just know it's not slowing down, it's not gonna stop for me. Just don't know what I have to do to make a change though. I'm always talkative in classes, alright asking people out to coffee and what not, I'm comfortable socializing, but it just ends there. I'm not sure what I have to do to change that. I just can't seem to nail a down a solid group of friends, and the friends I do have are always so busy that they never have time to hangout much, they have other people that it's more important to them to spend their free time with, which I totally understand, it'd just be nice to sometime be that important person for somebody. I'm just not sure how to take the steps towards having those people to hangout with more and having those relationships though.

It's just been harder for me than usual lately. One of my best friends from back west always had the same problems to deal with, it was nice having someone who could really relate to it, someone who understood and was always there to talk. But she's recently moved out and is with a new roommate and now I'm hearing about all the parties they're having, the boys she's making out with, and I'm really glad she's finally getting to experience these things, but it's difficult being an encouraging friend when it just makes you feel lonely and isolated. I feel guilty I'm jealous because she deserves what she's found, but it's hard hearing sometimes all the same. I just really don't feel like I belong where I am now, but I don't how to change things, I don't know what to do. Hope maybe there's a later train stopping.

Really appreciate having CT here to vent to, apologies for the whinging though. Had to type this up twice, first time the site logged me out before I could hit submit (it actually just did it a second time but I copied it this time). Kind of symbolic of the weekend I've had haha. Think I'm gonna go look for some deals on Ervell on SF now haha. Really is nice having this community here, you guys are pretty cool (smiling)

[Catfush]

Was in the exact same boat as you not too long ago. I recently just befriended this girl and I finally feel like I've made a mutually caring friendship. Keep reaching out to people and you're bound to find someone that you connect with. I totally understand what you're feeling though, it gets discouraging when you feel like you're the one making all the effort. I don't know you, but from your comments you seem like a really stand-up dude and I'm certain you'll find what you're looking for in due time.

[JonjoShelvey]

vicodin

[Mippipopolous]

Thanks for all the kind words and advice guys, you're all seriously the best (smiling)

That was beautiful and you are a beautiful person. Seriously, that really cheered me up a lot man, thanks!