x-factor all stars

[raags]

<blankinput> i had vlaada chvatil knit me a scarf made of trigg's eyebrows

[RomanEmpire]

<raags> short raags but my dick tall

[odradek]

[deadkitty]

[21:11] <zachinthebox> i just think mrs luthor didnt know my earlier incarnations
[21:11] <neevin> i'm housesitting and there's only two channels
[21:11] <zachinthebox> she hasnt seen the evolution of the anti-hero
[21:12] <exprof> tell us your origins story zach
[21:12] <zachinthebox> does anyone have a copy of the MFA bible handy
[21:12] <neevin> hope zach doesn't have a sister lol!!11
[21:12] <zachinthebox> i dont think i have the pastebin
[21:13] <zachinthebox> Scene: dark dirty hospital in brooklyn, the year is 1993, lightning flashes in the background
[21:13] <zachinthebox> a woman is screaming
[21:14] <zachinthebox> a doctor can be heard urging her, "push, PUSH, ONE MORE HERE WE GO"
[21:14] <zachinthebox> the fresh cry of a newborn fills the air
[21:14] <zachinthebox> a baby is born
[21:14] <zachinthebox> the once and future king of sweatshirts
[21:15] <zachinthebox> cut scene
[21:17] <zachinthebox> Scene 2 opens: a young boy, perhaps 10 years old, sits in seiza in front of a older japanese man, his sensei. the crunch of the student's heavyweight raw denim can be heard as he fidgets.
[21:18] <neevin> training in raws is like goku training for namek
[21:18] <zachinthebox> "hiroki-sensei, when will i learn the secret loopwheel technique? I'm almost 11 years old"
[21:19] <zachinthebox> "zach-kun, you are far from ready. you can barely reproduce a pair of 1947 501s. you expect you are capable of producing 100 year old sweatshirts, DONT MAKE ME LAUGH BOY!"
[21:20] <zachinthebox> "ILL SHOW YOU SENSEI ILL SHOW THEM ALL ILL BE THE GREATEST REPRODUCER OF ALL TIME"
[21:20] <zachinthebox> the boy runs out of the room
[21:21] <zachinthebox> "yes, yes. that is the fire that will push you beyond the bounds of possibility. your potential is limitless my boy, i can only hope you will be able to control it."
[21:21] <zachinthebox> cut scene
[21:24] <zachinthebox> Scene 3 opens: the young boy is now 14, exploring the wonders of tokyo. stumbling, he happens upon a secret door that leads him to a special club. an underground repro ring.
[21:24] <zachinthebox> "what is this place"
[21:25] <zachinthebox> "THIS is the greatest repro circuit in world shitstain, where masters of repro come from all over the world to show their skills and decide who is the true reproduction champion."
[21:25] <zachinthebox> ".... where do I sign up?"
[21:26] <zachinthebox> "HAHAHAHAH that's funny, come back when you can aniline dye horsehide properly ya little fucking cunt."
[21:27] <g2x222> ...
[21:27] <g2x222> what is happening
[21:27] <zachinthebox> "how about a wager? you let me participate in one match. if i win, i can be a competitor. if i lose, i can never return."
[21:27] <breloomski> zachinthebox is writing a story g2x222
[21:27] <zachinthebox> "its your cotton-sateen boy, but if you want to get wrecked go right ahead. i'm a gambling man."
[21:28] <neevin> this is autobiography breloomski
[21:28] <breloomski> i think so neevin
[21:28] <zachinthebox> the teen enters into a structure resembling a wrestling cage
[21:30] <zachinthebox> inside are two union special chainstitch machines facing one another. his opponent, a large american wearing a vintage american-made flannel shirt, sharply cuffed faded raw denim, and black horsehide engineer boots awaits him.
[21:30] <zachinthebox> the cage door closes behind him.
[21:31] <zachinthebox> "gigigigigig this is my opponent? kid are your raws even faded?"
[21:32] <zachinthebox> the boy says nothing, remaining silent. he approaches the chainstitch machine and sits down. his opponent, a man named Jim, continues to jeer at him. the mc comes on the speakers.
[21:34] <zachinthebox> "we have a special today, ladies and gentlemen. a first-timer in the ring, naught but a child, facing against Jimmy Johnson, 3-time champion of the Mid-Atlantic Repro Battle in America."
[21:35] <zachinthebox> "the challenge is simple. the first competitor to finish chainstitching the hems of 10 pairs of 18oz raw denim will win."
[21:36] <zachinthebox> "ARE YOU REAAAADDDDYYY TOOOOO REPROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
[21:36] <zachinthebox> the crowd cheers
[21:37] <zachinthebox> Jimmy Johnson hocks a loogie next to the boy's feet. the boy remains silent.
[21:37] <zachinthebox> "...BEGIN!!!!!!!!"
[21:39] <zachinthebox> Jimmy Johnson is on his fifth pair of jeans, hands moving quick like those of a vietnamese child in a nike factory, before he decides to throw more insults at the boy.
[21:40] <zachinthebox> As he looks over at his competitor, his eyes widen almost comically. His jostling jaw, lush with fat and burger grease, drops to the table.
[21:41] <zachinthebox> The boy sits there, still and quiet, next to 10 perfectly hemmed and folded pairs of denim.
[21:42] <zachinthebox> "UNBELIEVABLE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. ARE MY EYES LYING TO ME? NO THEY ARE NOT! OUR FIRST TIME CHALLENGER HAS FINISHED CHAINSTITCHING HIS 10 PAIRS OF JEANS IN RECORD TIME!! SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!"
[21:44] <zachinthebox> The MC walks over to the victorious boy, pushing him onto his feet and grabbing his arm
[21:44] <zachinthebox> "THE VICTOR OF OUR MATCH IS ...."
[21:44] <zachinthebox> "...what's your name again, kid?"
[21:45] <zachinthebox> "Nakamura... Hiroki Nakamura"
[21:45] <zachinthebox> cut scene
[21:45] <zachinthebox> i have to backtrack tho and say that in this part of the story our protagonist is actually 17 or 18, NOT 14
[21:46] <zachinthebox> Scene 4: a flashback????
[21:46] <Heckawheel> im on the edge of my seat zach this is a thriller
[21:48] <zachinthebox> A storm rages. Zach's white loopwheeled t-shirt is soaked in blood as rain soaks his hair and runs off of his cotton-sateen m-65 field jacket.
[21:49] <zachinthebox> His sensei lies in the mud, bleeding from several wounds. Zach's sobs are unheard over the roar of the storm.
[21:50] <zachinthebox> "Hiroki-sensei NO you can't die please dont leave me I'm not ready yet there's so much you haven't taught PLEASE DONT GO"
[21:50] <zachinthebox> Hiroki coughs up blood.
[21:52] <zachinthebox> "*cough* Zachary my boy *cough* you are more than ready. you are the greatest student i have ever taught. you have the potential *cough* to be the greatest reproducer of all time. i saw it in you*cough*r eyes all those years ago when i found you wandering the streets of new york"
[21:52] <zachinthebox> "do you think i would have taken you on to be my student if I did not think you could achieve greatness"
[21:52] <zachinthebox> "but sensei!"
[21:53] <zachinthebox> "NO! listen to me boy, you have already surpassed me. if you cont*cough cough cough*inue you will reach levels no one even thought possible"
[21:53] <zachinthebox> "Zach, you... you are Hiroki Nakamura now"
[21:54] <zachinthebox> "SENSEI!"
[21:54] <zachinthebox> "Yes, i should have done this before, but i was a fool. an old fool. you forgive me dont you"
[21:55] <zachinthebox> "o-f c-c-course sensei"
[21:57] <zachinthebox> "Before i pass into the great beyond, there is one more thing i must tell you. the man who killed your mother. the man who killed me. that man..."
[21:57] <zachinthebox> "WHAT SENSEI WHO IS HE I WILL HUNT HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH"
[21:58] <zachinthebox> "NO BOY you will not. though one day you may be able to fight him you are far from his level as you are now. you must promise me you will not let the path of revenge blind you."
[21:58] <zachinthebox> "BUT SENSEI"
[21:58] <zachinthebox> "NO YOU MUST PROMISE ME BOY"
[21:58] <zachinthebox> ".... yes hiroki-sensei, i promise"
[21:59] <zachinthebox> "that man... that man is your father."
[21:59] <zachinthebox> the storm continues to rage.
[21:59] <amikrumping> is someone saving this. cause i have to go. but am on the edge of my seat
[21:59] <zachinthebox> i'll pastebin it
[22:00] <amikrumping> thank u.
[22:00] <Bryham> hwats even going on in here
[22:00] <zachinthebox> "Sensei TELL ME THATS NOT TRUE THAT CANT BE TRUE"
[22:01] <zachinthebox> "HIROKI SENSEI!??? HIROKI SENSEI PLEASE STAY WITH ME"
[22:01] <zachinthebox> "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
[22:02] <zachinthebox> Our protagonist weeps over the body of his fallen sensei, the storm rages even stronger.
[22:02] <zachinthebox> cut scene to the next day
[22:03] <zachinthebox> the sun rises. the ground, still slick from the previous night, squashes under vibram soles
[22:06] <zachinthebox> a memorial stone now stands proudly where once a man laying dying
[22:06] <zachinthebox> formed by skilled hands from denim and leather
[22:07] <zachinthebox> The newly christened Hiroki Nakamura stands upon the grave of his sensei.
[22:09] <Bryham> fantastic
[22:09] <zachinthebox> "Sensei, i-i cannot keep the promise I made you. That man... my father... I will kill him. If it takes me 10 lifetimes, I will kill him and avenge you and my mother."
[22:09] <zachinthebox> "This I so swear"
[22:10] <zachinthebox> The wind sweeps the landscape as Hiroki Nakamura takes the first steps onto his journey.
[22:10] <zachinthebox> cut scene
[22:11] <zachinthebox> the next installments will come tomorrow because i have work at 5:30 am
[22:11] <zachinthebox> HOWS THAT FOR AN ORIGIN STORY exprof
[22:11] <exprof> ...
[22:11] <Heckawheel> lol

[rjbman]

When do you normally wake up?

[sid3000]

<Suquida> How do you fold milk

[RomanEmpire]

<exprofesso> wait whats the state abbreviation
<exprofesso> for new orleans
<inccphone> ...
<exprofesso> quebec is QC instead of QU
<lunchables> lol
<inccphone> it's a city
<exprofesso> oh right
<exprofesso> lol
<exprofesso> louisiana
<exprofesso> lmao
<exprofesso> sry\

[SteevMike]

<deadkitty> hey sid3k
<deadkitty> knock knock
== sid3k [~sid3k@REDACTED] has quit

[rjbman]

The X-Factor on the 90s

<Syeknom> tdsaa was already smoking and driving a truck by 93
<tdsaa> lived through one season of doug
<Syeknom> listening to pearl jam and playing pool
<tdsaa> 93 i was in stockholm
<tdsaa> well, no, i had just moved back to the us about august time
<Belacracker> 93 I'd just finalised my first divorce, was roaming around Leon unemployed
<tdsaa> i was in a drunken haze, still disbelieving that the evil empire had fallen; iraq was past but the specter of european war in the balkans haunted my fitful sleep
<Belacracker> I was in a sheffield working men's club playing darts and eating pork scratchings with a young man named Jarvis
<Syeknom> 93 i'd moved to reunified berlin and was enjoying lowlevel success as a techno dj
<Syeknom> lived in a squat with 7 men, 4 of whom wore turtlenecks daily
<Belacracker> i was living in a house, a very big house, in the country
<tdsaa> escaping a continent in flux, i retreated to america. a cloud of violence hung listlessly over that land, too; the same racial tensions, the same machine gunnings in the street spraying death indiscriminately at man, woman and child for their crimes of having merely been present
<tdsaa> did u take all manner of pills?
<tdsaa> load up analyst bills?
<Syeknom> pills, thrills and bellyaches

[deadkitty]

<majjj> the worst/best was when some girl asked me what i liked to do with my free time, i whipped out my phone and said "let me tell you about care-tags" for an hour

[RomanEmpire]

<incc> i need to dump a load

[exprof]

[odradek]

<fountainstairs> the day before haavet kaatuu
<fountainstairs> i got called in for an interview
<fountainstairs> and the first thing they said was "you look very särmä"
<fountainstairs> "NO PLS NO I WANT TO BE LÄÄKINTÄMIES PLS"
<fountainstairs> i handled the stress very well

[therapils]

<therapils> i bought my ex undercover outerwear
<Renalan> u should just be my girl on the side therapils
<Renalan> i can buy u doap stuff
<therapils> you'd be my girl
<Renalan> that's okay
<therapils> sometimes we'd both be the girl

[therapils]

<therapils> i can read a little kanji
<therapils> and by kanji i mean chinese, but it's the same thing

[therapils]

<therapils> SCRUB SCRUB SCRUB TIL THE WATER'S BROWN
...
<therapils> I'M FRIENDS WITH MY DAD

[therapils]

<therapils> yes, the wettest of lads

[therapils]

Syeknom (d47154e6@gateway/web/cgi-irc/kiwiirc...p/) joined the channel.

[therapils]

<Syeknom> lava is rock

[therapils]

<Vaeltaja> also just cuz my gf is catholic i told her one day i wanted to fuck her in the unversity church or to tie her to a cross

[therapils]

<raags> i think cos im single now
<raags> i am more aware of how attractive women perceive me to be

[UnwashedMolasses]

<rOwAn> i cut my nails yesterday but for some reason i forgot to cut one
<rOwAn> so now i have like one weirdly long nail and it's really bothering me
<Pinya> guess you have to develop a coke habit now
<rOwAn> .......you say that as if i don't already have a coke habit

[deadkitty]

<majjj> i had a massive pannick attack last night that my maggy suit didn't fit acceptably and ended up trying it all on at 1:30 in the morning

[BobbyZamora]

<hobo> my linen shirt has pomegranate juice on it
<RomanEmpire> wabi sabi
<hobo> i only like that in my sushi

[exprof]

Adrienne and Beard by :

(you hit on vegan girl at bar)
(hipster foodie comes up to you)
(folds arms)
(sleeve blatantly shown)
"problem, man?"
(less than stellar fades on APCs)
(red wing iron rangers)
(corter leather goods key fob)
(slightly different colored denim shirt)
(you look at his shirt)
(levi's red label)
(but you are mistaken)
(its orange tab, he's evolved)
(you are noticeably shaken)
(instead of telling him off, you acquiesce instantaneously)
"no man, theres no problem"
"good, then cmon Adrianne, we're leaving"
(grabs adrianne by waist)
(they walk away)
(you notice he has a blowout on two rivets on his back left pocket and a corner blowout from a wallet fade)
(they are indeed APCs are you suspected)
(end scene)

[ramseames]

I want to rep this but in no world would that guy ever have APCs

[blankinput]

The above work of fiction was based in earnest on a recollection of my trips to several Americana-type stores in which many of the vendors were wearing highly-contrasted APCs. While I do admit that a more appropriate denim label would be something akin to Tellason or Roy Denim, the heat of the moment left me mentally stranded with regard to other alternatives.

Sincerely,
blankinput

[jrisk]

<rowan> looking back at it now i probably should have realised that the fact i'd rather sleep on the floor under someone else's bed over sleeping in the bed with him
<rowan> probably meant i didn't like him
<rowan> um it took me like a year to realise actually
<hobo> #rowanisms

[mc-lunar]

[g2x222]