Vegan Seinfeld

[bels]

George wants to break up with his girlfriend because she's allergic to onion and garlic
George: I'm already a vegan, onion and garlic are all I've got.
Elaine: You could learn to cook Jain food.
George: No Elaine. No I can't.

[bels]

Kramer starts scamming the washing up liquid bottle refill at the co-op
Kramer: All you do is you take a new bottle... but at the counter you tell them it's a refill
Jerry: So now you're stealing
Kramer: Oh wake up Jerry! I'm paying for the liquid. The only thing I'm stealing is the bottle! People throw those away! They're trash!

[bels]

Frank Costanza keeps trying to get George to eat oysters
Frank: They're vegan! I read it in on Slate dot com!
George: Dad they're alive how can they be vegan?
Frank: They are not alive! They're BIVALVES!

[bels]

Elaine finds that George has set her up on a date with someone who eats fish.
Elaine: You said he was a vegetarian!
George: I said pescatarian! I said pesc!
Elaine: You did not say pesc! No pesc!

[bels]

Kramer gets a vitamix and starts drinking smoothies for every meal
K: "I made lentil soup, blended it, boom, lentil soup smoothie."
J: "You can't blend soup!"
K: "Oh I can Jerry, I can blend anything"

[bels]

Jerry and Kramer find out that Elaine hasn't been getting all the obscure ingredients for her Ottolenghi recipes
Jerry: You left out the yuzu? What did you substitute?
Elaine: Nothing, I just left it out
Jerry: You didn't substitute?
Elaine: No, I couldn't find it in Asda (NOTE, REPLACE THIS WITH BASIC NEW YORK SUPERMARKET CHAIN)
Kramer: But - You gotta use the yuzu.
Jerry: What about the pomegranate molasses?
Elaine: Didn't use them.
Jerry: Tell me you didn't leave out the labneh
Elaine: Oh my god! You don't NEED any of this stuff. it tasted fine.
Jerry: It may have tasted fine, but I very much doubt that it tasted like an Ottolenghi
Kramer: If Yottam says you gotta use yuzu you gotta use yuzu,
Jerry: The zany ingredients are what makes it so good
Elaine: All his stuff tastes the same anyway
Jerry: Well it does if you don't use the stupid ingredients!