by mahi-mahi » Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:21 am
Thank you! I just came down actually and now I am sad. Ok so I had two exams today right, Math and Bio- the reason I bought and took them. I started studied at 5 pm, popped at 4:30 pm, until 11 pm (when the library closed), I was feeling great, like focus beyond my ability- I’ve always been scatter brained, as you all may have seen.
What I was mostly worried about was bio, because although it is an intro class, it is a weed out class because the pass rate is something crazy like 25%, and I need to do well because I want to become a occupational therapist.
My bio professor’s slide shows (which he exclusively and doesn’t even teach, just reads) are always around 60 slides each, so I have to study that and watch videos. I had been up and studying at 10 hours at this point, and I could keep going. 1 hour later, at 4 am, the fire alarm in my building rang out, and I waited around for 15 minutes, and then I came back and keep going until 5, took a piss and slept for 4 hours. I woke up in a puddle of my sweat, took a cold cold shower, bought a coffee, and realized I was stressed- due to personal bullshit with this girl and my parents are always doubtful of my decisions and just want me to come back to run the restaurant but I can’t. The exam was ok, but a lot of questions were written weirdly and truthfully, I just wanted to sleep, but my body physically couldn’t.
I was walking back from my math exam and began to crash very hard- I found it hard to stand up straight, and more than that, I began having scary thoughts, like why do I even need to buy drugs to do what most can do sober? Am
I just a fool and ultimately, don’t deserve to be educated? Why can’t I seem to get my life together and become all I want to be? I also thought, “why even study for like 14 hours if I can’t even read the question right?”
All in all, i liked it.