Feelings

[brlmski]

being unemployed is exhausting. i just wanna go back to the relaxing cadence of working

[mahi-mahi]

as I get older, I’ve realized that the stuff I really want for Christmas is stuff that can’t be bought.

[wrong]

I don't have many people I can share this with but last year I posted this on c-t


This year, I am happy to post this


i'm here as a permanent resident now! ! !

[brlmski]

got a job 8). working as a research engineer at the university of washington

[meatjacket]

Lots of ups and downs in my struggle to be an independent adult. Lots of stuff changing almost all at once which is great and hard to keep up with and bad and not moving fast enough. Overall pretty down but I know there’s some upsides coming up

The bad..
- girlfriend and I broke up after 7 years together. We still live together and plan to until the lease is up. It’s been rough on us being under the same roof because of how different we view the world and our motivating factors. Her idea of fun is not my idea and vice versa. As kids we were the same kind of person but now as we’re older we’re different and know what we want out of the world and sadly it’s not a future with us together. I have no plans to date anytime soon but she’s out looking for people to connect with. This sucks man

However I am a silver lining kind of guy, let’s see what’s going well so far
The good!
- I got a new job and it’s so easy, much less stressful both physically and mentally. Pay is better along w nearly open dress code :-)
- Strokes cover band is going well, we play some originals on the side. Hope to have a show by the beginning of the year!
- credit cards are nearly paid off, almost no debt

[bels]

I always have a headache and it's driving me crazy.

[brlmski]

shedding the majority of my stuff in a cross country move feels great. feel like i could leave some more behind but it's hard to go all the way i think

[archangel666]

the world is so fucked.

[Benson]

Is the whole 'moving constantly in your 20s for school and work' thing unique to our generation or has it always been this way? I just got back from visiting my girlfriend, friends, and family on the other side of the country and it is tough

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

.

[Julio]

life is mad tiring sometimes, lately is one of those times

[meatjacket]

landed a "big" job. really REALLY good benefits as well as nice little perks such as free snacks/food/drinks. Been surrounded by good vibes and crazy events and people. If I had to draw my self as a cartoon, it would be a

BIG BEAMING SUN

im finally happy

[mknro]

not really a feeling but also a sad feeling: what happened to Other shop?

[hamburgerlady]

i've achieved my dream and have been living in tokyo for a year now.
kinda almost feeling like moving again though. maybe somewhere in europe (norway, france, copenhagen).

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

looking back on my posts in this thread are wild

i joined c-t when i was 19, bored, completely isolated, and inexperienced in basically every possible way. looking back on my emotional growth since then is incredibly affirming

i'm graduating this month, so it kind of bookends with when i joined c-t in my gap year between graduating high school and starting college. i think i can say that i'm happy right now, much happier than i thought was possible two years ago. i know that this happiness can't last forever, but knowing that it came as a result of a lot of hard lessons and personal growth means that it comes from within, and that i can find it again no matter how much my life changes

definitely recommend going through your old posts in here if you were anywhere near as prolific in this thread as i was. if you're in a good place rn it's really affirming to remember how much things have changed for the better, and if you're in a weird or bad place rn it's a reminder that as long as you keep learning and growing through both the good and bad times you'll be okay in the end

love you!

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

[106-2]

Don't really have anyone I feel comfortable bragging about this to irl, but i've just finished the 2nd year of my BA with a 1st and by far the best feedback I've ever received in each of the essays. I've really got no idea how I've managed it, given the absolutely fucking state of my mental health throughout the school year. It feels like such a relief in one sense, but it sort of confirms an issue I've had since secondary school where I'd get good grades to the massive detriment of my mental wellbeing. I really am proud of myself but it feels sort of marred by that :/

[npuox]

brezy at gym got me going crasy bro ,,,,,,, i am afraide she will find au I'm not a coo guy if we speak 2 muc,,,,,,bros help m ehelp me help me

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

wow i'm in love for the first time ever bruh this shit's fuckn HITTIN

[mahi-mahi]

I feel fuckin worthless. Maybe I’m just one of those guys whose meant to be alone

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

LDRs are hard. really fucking hard. it feels like there's a piece of me missing, but with the tacit understanding that trying to fill that vacant feeling with other distractions is unhealthy and destructive, so i have to make peace with that emptiness

it's wild that LDRs are so hard when the actual decision to stay with her was such a no-brainer. i'm happy i fell in love for the first time at 23 instead of when i was a teenager, now that i have the maturity and experience to make the right decisions and communicate effectively. maybe that thought gives someone reading this more hope, i hope it does

[WussWayne]

My doctor gave me an autism test info paper saying it's a good idea if I have the test done, and like it was a little unexpected and I went home like "ok".

That was 2 days ago. I've been reading up more on the issue and how it's comorbid with other mental illnesses and I'm just like fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

Like there's a weird disconnection between like how you'd throw the word autism around in the 4chan insulting way to realising you might actually be autistic. And it's weirding me out because I've made peace with a lot of things in my life but this is asking me to drastically shift my entire world view. Like fuck me there's no meds to control that. It's like realising you're the special eds kid in class. Who on earth wants to be that.

That test costs like 1100 dollars and it was for people 18-25 (I dont know if there's one for much older people) but my psychiatrist says I'm 26 and can slipped in for it but I cant delay till I'm older.


Like fuck man do I even want to take it?

[Stolsdos]

I just repped your post, but I'm gonna go into more detail here.

But basically I've been going through the same thing after a lot of introspection. I've done a ton of research and shit and overall turns out it's not a bad thing at all! Now I don't know if I am autistic, although I scored stupid high on the rdos and raads tests and just knowing myself neither are necessarily conclusive, but the experiences of autistic people really resonate with me more than anything else.

For me, getting diagnosed would be a huge relief that I don't have some weird personality disorder that people have suggested I have, and also just helping me figure out who I am and why I feel different sometimes. I like to think of it as another stepping stone on my path to self-acceptance.

Maybe there's someone here who has actually been diagnosed with ASD? Not trying to make anyone out themselves btw(not that its a bad thing!)

Anyway, hope you get it all figured out! (smiling)

[WussWayne]

I dunno if I'll ever have enough money to get it done but I it would be nice to kinda get an answer to why you're such a fuck-up. But like now even my concentration is completely shot to shit and I've told my psychiatrist it had improved because deep down I think I'm being willfully lazy and here I'm reading about like the cormobidity of adhd with autism or adhd being mistaken for autism and it's like hang on maybe its not my fault but then like in a corner of my mind I'm scared I'll be some useless fuck in his 30's who'll be going "My life would have turned out great if only so and so and so were right" and I am actually being willfully lazy and looking for an excuse. Fuck

[WussWayne]

Ok so I called my psychiatrist somewhat freaking out asking if we could go over other possibilities because I think my mind simply refuses to accept I'm that broken and irreparable. There is also a bunch of stuff I haven't shared with them because I learnt to censure myself irl and not overshare much which I frequently do online and I'm not sure at this next meeting just How Much is Too Much? I'm trying to find a halfway point between "Wow this patient is actually sicker than I thought and I need to 600% call their nursing school and advise he be not let anywhere near a hospital" vs "Ah I see I didnt have a full gauge of your symptoms. Well nothing to worry about here's the correct diagnosis.

[sknss]

Hey, just wanted to provide a bit of reassurance. I work with young people and I see kids with ASD every day. They are all so different, and are very much not broken. I've seen how empowering a diagnosis can be - it can help you see your own patterns and triggers, and it can help you find better coping strategies. It certainly doesn't change anything about yourself. You'd still be the same person.
Best of luck!

[scanningsky]

What do you call emotion when you don't give a ****?

[zevolution]

I tanked my LDR of almost 2 years two weeks ago. Alternating between utmost despair and giddiness. Who would have known that the ambivalence would last after all was said and done?

On the other side, I'm trying to rely less on mental health professionals and more on friends, this time around.

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

[can-]

i have a capital b Bf and a capital g Gf and that feels like a pretty big win for ben