Tales of public transportation

[sknss]

What's happening on your bus/subway/spaceship ride

Today a man ate his boogers next to me.

[SweetJavaBrown]

There was a group of people on my bus today polling everyone that walked on the bus, asking them "Cherry pie or apple pie?" I answered apple.

[jrisk]

a week ago on the subway, I saw a woman drink an entire bottle of apple cider vinegar.

[AmericanPie]

Last night, a man was talking to a poster for the movie Noah, saying that he was going to the kingdom of Heaven, and then gestured to me and said to the poster of Russell Crowe and said "Now this guy, I don't know where he's going."

[hunnish]

I'd never been on public transportation until this past year.

First time on the bus was Blacksburg Transit at my school, and I think I fell in love twice (maybe more)

First time riding a train was this past July when I went to visit some friends in NYC. I was nervous going to NYC alone and in the last half hour of the train ride I chugged a water bottle full of vodka and was well drunk by the time I arrived in the train station. For reference, this is the station i left from



At Penn, people were everywhere, I had no idea where to go, and I was intoxicated. When I posted up on a pillar to make a phone call, a homeless man shook me by the shoulders and yelled something in my face.

Then , , and found me and we went to get burgers. Maybe they weren't burgers, I dunno I don't remember a lot but it was tasty. They can all verify my drunkenness and panic.

[IsaiahSchafer]

On BART on the way to the airport a lady rambled the entire time (at least until the transfer) about how the government has a record of our DNA and knows exactly what we'll get sick with and when throughout our lifetime. She said she's trying to get them to release the info. I thanked her for fighting the good fight.

[starfox64]

taking BART to the airport is the shittiest experience i think. though i've never had to take the train to the airport in chicago, so i guess that could be worse.

every time i am late for work, i get stuck with the bus driver who is super slow, making full stops even when no one signals they are getting off and there is no one waiting. on the other hand, some of the other drivers are kinda reckless. my first year in korea, the younger sister of a classmate of a bunch of my students (but she didn't go to my school) was killed when she was hit by a bus that ran a red light. so i guess i'm okay being a few minutes late for work if it means that fewer kindergarteners are being killed by runaway buses.

[Bryan]

Took the shrubway with my buddy the other week, got a seat before the train got really crowded and when it did I had this big smelly homeless guy standing right on top of me with his beer belly in my face

i just faced my friend and didn't breathe for about 5 stops (it was express so i couldn't get out lol)

[rublev]

Once a girl cried in front of me.

Another time a man ate a whole tub of coleslaw.

[jrisk]

I rode the bus almost every day the last few semesters and it was always the same bus driver, Monica. twice now, she's seen me walking in my small town and she's honked and waved each time. all the bus drivers are super super nice.

[yourdad]

on the ride to school, a girl took out an entire loaf of bread and finished it by the time we got there

[hooplah]

when i was younger (in my teens) i accompanied my (then ~50-year-old) mom to work. on our way back home on the bart train in the evening, we sat on the side-facing seats because the front- and back-facing ones make my mom a little sick. we had both drifted off to sleep when we were awoken by the brash "ahem" of a large older man (probably also 50) who we now saw was hovering over us with a stern look on his face. we both look up at him and he scolds us loudly--"these seats are for older people you know"

motherfucker just because my mom is 5 feet tall and perpetually looks 20 years younger than her age and you look haggard and weathered as fuck by whatever meaningless life you have led does not give you the right to exert your fucking negative ass energy on my young self and my poor innocent mother, you fuming sack of rotten donkey shit

anyway my mom apologized and graciously gave up her seat. as we walked away i turned around and flipped the guy off

nothing pisses me off more than people disrespecting my parents. i lose my shit every single time

[agvs]

I have a pretty uneventful ride into Penn Station everyday. It's long as fuck, about 1.5 hours each way door to door. The train line I take goes through a bunch of suburban neighborhoods for the most part so not much craziness going on. About the worst I've seen is a guy clipping his fingernails. I don't understand where or how you grow up to think that's ok to do on public transportation. Luckily I don't need to take the subway to work.

no joke I saw a guy eating his boogers too. He was in his car in the parking lot one day. I really could not believe what I was seeing.

[fun_yunchables]

i was on the muni n light rail in sf once. chick gets on in those platform heels, garters, lacy skirt shebang and shit and starts flashing everyone

needless to say that chick was a dude

[exprof]

many older ladies (and occasionally men) shamelessly reading erotic novels in public (without the discretion of ebooks)

[AmericanPie]

A while back, I saw a homeless man (at least I thought he was homeless. dirty hands, dirty clothes, dirt on his face) on the Chinatown bus. He had in one hand, a clear plastic bag, with some smushed up fish filets, and what appeared to be the wing of a bird. In the other, a plush Domo about the size of his torso. And as we rode the bus, he quietly sobbed until he exited the bus.

[sknss]

some dude watching twerking videos on his phone

[spahdfgo]

i've got the guy who played shitty synthesizer for 20 mins.

I've got the guy who raps in romanian(?) on the sample of Still from Dr Dre and then does backflips using the bars.

[chilljin]

a student at my uni eating peanut butter from the jar with a spoon on the bus like what the fuck

[spahdfgo]

I also have the fat bearded christian dude who preaches on the platform with his bible.

The kid who crossed the electrified train tracks just to ask the guy on the other side a sip of his beer

The guy who asked me to move because i was "blocking his view" (in the subway, whatever).

[kewks]

i take the train about 25 minutes to and from work/school almost every day. there has been this person who takes pictures of people sleeping on public transit and now i don't really want to sleep anymore.

[starfox64]

[parastexis]

First time I ever got high, I got on a bus in Denmark. The people there have a very subtle way of interacting with strangers, a lot of head tilts and bag ruffling. I'm seated in the front of the bus when a mother with a stroller boards the bus, and needs to station the stroller right where I'm standing. I'm pretty out of it, while the man standing in front of me is trying to get me to move with his arsenal of body ticks. Finally I notice him, but the way he kept looking down made me think he was complimenting my shoes. I smile at him, thinking, yeah AF1s are cool man!, before my friend finally drags me to the back while I loudly proclaim "Oh I get it!".

[Spartangy]

When my friends and I were going to the Laneways festival (awesome line up by the way, Danny Brown, Jamie xx, Earl Sweatshirt, Chvrches, Savages...) my friends were drinking vodka out of water bottles at like 12 pm on the bus. Well, one of my friends suddenly needs to pee so bad he can't hold it, so on this semi-crowded bus he finishes his vodka, and starts pissing in the empty bottle (we're at the back of the bus, he's kind of turned into the corner and rather pissed). Well, of course, the bottle falls over at one point, and he starts saying "Aww shit" over and over again a little too loud (luckily the bus was pretty loud at least). Because we were at the back of the bus (which is elevated), the piss that spilled out of the bottle slowly starts trickling down to the centre of the bus, around people's feet etc. Luckily we got off the bus before anyone really noticed (I think this elderly couple sitting about two seats in front of us did though). It was a mix of hilarious and embarrassing.

[AmericanPie]

A guy started yelling at a woman for getting to close to him, called her a bitch over and over, then apologized after a second and started bawling. Got off at the next stop after he got on.

[sknss]

i would like to meet a subway station designer

[sknss]

i would like to meet a subway dentist

[sknss]

[yourdad]

just remembered probably the funniest thing my mum witnessed on the bus years ago.

she was riding the bus through a not-so-great neighbourhood (DTES for vancouver people) when an aboriginal man got on the bus. he didn't have any change for a bus fare so the bus driver wouldn't let him stay on. the man immediately began shouting something along the lines of "your bus is on my peoples' land!". the bus driver then said the best thing. he looked at the aboriginal man and said "then get off my bus and stand on your land.".

my mum brings up this story any time someone starts off their sentence with "get off my..." or "get out of my..." and it always makes me laugh.

[navin]

i saw chick throwing up in a cup on the bus, then throwing the vomit outside the window right next to a crowded sidewalk.
On a positive note she looked like my ex and that helped me get over her =)