Feelings

[can-]

delete them

[g2x222]

[ramseames]

If you're not hung up on them and they're happy memories keep them dude.

[exprof]

easiest answer is keep all of them but replace her face with raf's

[uxjtsu]

No point keeping them. What if you date someone new and they find them?

[klonopin]

i've been back at my parents house in the suburbs for a week and i've been hanging out with one of my best friends from college, who graduated a few months ago and lives alone in the city. Before she graduated, our friendship was completely platonic, but we slept together the first night I visited her and a few more times through the week. we also went to museums and brunch and bars and watched tv and did all other fun shit; she really is one of my best friends. In a few days shes going to atlantic city with her ex-boyfriend and two of his friends, and they came to the city to crash on her couch last night. I repeatedly stressed that I felt a little awkward about the whole situation; my friend still sleeps with her ex on occasion and, while I see nothing wrong with that, I wouldn't particularly want to be there when it happens nor feel like I'm in some kind of competition with him. But she vehemently assured me that things weren't complicated with her and her ex and that she wanted to see me one more time romantically before I go back to summer school. So I drive to the city, pick her three friends up, and drive to another apartment, where we have a few drinks before taking a taxi to a bar to dance and drink more. The whole time she was very touchy and sweet; we would split up to talk and dance with other people, but it was evident that the two of us were there together. Around three, she, I, and the three other boys sleeping at her place take a cab back home, chill downstairs, talk, and smoke weed until about five in the morning. At this point everyone starts getting ready for bed and my friend retreats with her ex to her room without saying a word to me. I spent like four hours lying on her floor, walked to my car, and drove home.
i obviously have no right to expect to sleep with her or any authority over who else she sleeps with. I understand that she has every right to take back any promise with regard to bed vs floor sleeping, that thoughts and feelings easily change over the course of a night, and that she does not owe me anything. That being said, I feel that it was tremendously disrespectful of her not to indicate her change of heart until the last minutes of the night. I sent her a long e-mail explaining my feelings, she sent a short but thoughtful reply, and we made tentative plans to meet in some unspecified city some time in the near/distant future.
I know that, at this stage of life, she and I would never be able to sustain a steady relationship- since she graduated we've been living much different lives in different cities- but we spent a lot of time talking about the exciting, new, romantic facets of our relationship and the long-weekend rendezvous we could take to in-between cities every few months, and that future seems irrevocably lost. Regardless of any future, the end of my visit put a really ugly blemish on what was otherwise a truly wonderful week-long romantic fling and certainly damaged my relationship with one of my best and most-trusted friends.
oh well

tl;dr spent my week home from college week sleeping with an old friend until she slept with her ex while i was in the apartment. pretty bummed.

[uxjtsu]

Wow. Someone's judgemental. I never said I have anything against keeping photos of exs, and I'm not worked up over it? I'm just inputting my own suggestions and I see nothing wrong with that . And just because I haven't been here as long as you have, does that mean I cannot post about certain things?

I still say if you are over them , there's no point of you keeping the photos. Move on and create better memories and don't live in the past. If you keep looking back on it it'll just make you sad on what could have been or whatever. And plus if you date someone new they will still think you are hung up on your ex. That's all.


Edit: I misread Charybdis comment, sorry. I'm still jet lagging from my trip and I'm really tired but can't sleep. Sorry...

[raags]

Hey I don't think charybdis was intending to have a go at you - I hope the negs from the three of us didn't make you feel unwelcome here. I went and pos repped your other posts just to make up for it (smiling) I still disagree with what you've said - different people will have different experiences post-breakup. I broke up with my ex as I realised we weren't compatible - I have photos of a lot of things and times that aren't around anymore. Whether that's friendships, holidays, or even pets that have passed away. When I get over someone it doesn't mean I feel nothing for them, instead I just realise the relationship did not work for me and it wasn't healthy for us to be together. You can still view that person and those memories in a positive and loving light without being hung up on them.

[uxjtsu]

Oh it's all right. You didn't have to do that, but that's really nice of you. I still stand by my decision. I feel like it's just living in the past. Friends and pets are different, I feel like keeping romantic photos sometimes brings unwanted heartache. I'm just speaking from my own experiences and I'm not asking anyone to agree with me. I just wanted to share my own thoughts. We can always agree to disagree. Fair enough?

[ramdomthought]

there is such a thing as accepting that it's over and keeping the photos because you want to be able to reflect on that time and remember the good things from it



it's one of those things you forget about and isn't that even worse

[anonomous]

Well fuck.

80% of my friends who started college with me is dropping out of Uni.

Just found out that one of my closest friend who i grew up with started dating my ex whom i've spent most of my teenage life with. It kinda sucks to feel betrayed like this but i'll just be the bigger man and tell him it's cool even though it's really not. Can't be selfish too because I was the one who dumped her while I was studying abroad (because she didn't keep in contact much). Just didn't like that he didn't tell me straight up and had to hide it.

edit: ugh fuck i even remember trusting and telling him that i tried texting my ex but she was pretty cold when asked if i looked for her.

I do kind of feel better though.. for some reason? It's closure of some sort.

I love you all though (smiling)
Thank you c-t for being such a great community, it's you guys that keep me looking forward.

[UnwashedMolasses]

Telling him it's cool when it's not isn't being the bigger man. Why not explain that it hurts that he wasn't up front with you about it but you're not going to tell him not to?

[klonopin]

I like to see pics with exes and thinking about them now and hoping that they're happy and successful and knowing that the good times we had are still a part of them too and that, even if i haven't spoken to them in years, that event still makes the world better in its own little objective way.


for anyone who cares i talked more to my friend today and it went really well. She was super super apologetic and acknowledged that how she handled it all was deplorable. And, to be fair, we were all smashed, her relationship with him is even longer and more complex than hers with mine, intimacy is confusing, I always knew it would have been the more responsible decision for me not to have gone despite her insistence that I come, and everyone makes mistakes. She seems genuinely sorry that things worked out they did and I would know if she wasn' sincert. We agreed that we really "see eye to eye" and that enjoy sleeping together when its convenient, but that absolutely don't want to be in a relationship.
we're going to read the same books and talk about them on the phone and she's going to visit me in chicago this summer. it sucks that i had to feel that way and deal with that on friday night but shit happens and friends fuck each other over sometimes and i've done worse things to other people and all and all i don't think i could ask for a more favorable outcome. its kinda like that modest mouse song i think

[greggy]

I'm 23 tomorrow and I've never had a girlfriend.

On a positive side, this leaves more money for jawnz.

[Mippipopolous]

Two of my absolute best friends have been going through some pretty awful stuff lately. I'm one of the few people who they've opened up to about the things they're going through, and I appreciate that trust a lot and am doing my best to live up to that, because they both totally deserve it. I've just been stressed and worried for them both, trying to be as a good a friend to them as they've always been to me. It's really hard seeing two people you really care about have a rough time, you do your best, but I just wish I could do more for them. Just trying to be supportive.

On less important, but still kind of shitty, note, had been trying to continue being friends with my ex. We'd both agreed we were in a place where we could both use friends and we enjoyed just talking usually, so worth the try maybe? Look's like that's done with now though. I'm just tired of the drama she brings and she's shown some unpleasant sides at times. The other day she was at some thing with family and I asked how it was going, she told me to check her twitter because she'd been tweeting about it, I told her I never used twitter but she insisted, so whatever. First thing I see is a number of tweets referencing her boyfriend. I didn't know she had a new boyfriend. That was apparently her way of telling me. She'd also said she simply not felt like she was in a place for a relationship when we broke up, she even repeated that a week or two ago. After that made the mistake of looking further down, found some pretty mean-spirited tweets obviously about me. One even misquoted something I'd said in private to mock me. I just... Who does that? I've not talked to her since and I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's the final nail in the coffin that I just don't want to be friends with her at all. A couple friends said if she keeps texting or whatever just to ignore her. Should I just do that or try to calmly explain why I don't want to? I'm not sure what the most mature or healthy way to handle it is, but I'm just tired of it. She's just kind of shown herself to be a pretty unpleasant person and it's frustrating because it casts a shadow on any good times we had. I don't know. It's hard too because I haven't felt like I can really talk to my friends about it with the trouble's they're having, which are much more serious issues then figuring out how to deal with a bad ex. Oh well, hopefully everything'll turn around soon. I'm just ready to get back to school at this point and have a fresh start, been a tough summer.

[stappard_]

Petition to rename this thread "being friends with your ex is a bad idea"

[can-]

you can't be friends with your ex until you've both closed the circuit aka moved on and found other people and better relationships

[can-]

also your ex sounds like a cunt

[can-]

And I'd like to see these tweets

[brlmski]

only times ive ever seen friends with ex work out was when they were legitimately good friends before the relationship. and even there it's like a 20% chance it doesn't blow up.

[agvs]

to be perfectly honest, from an outsider's perspective of course, that does not sound like it's gonna work out well. Shit like that is going to happen again. It kinda sounds to e like you're justifying all this to yourself and saying it's ok because you really like her. Maybe I'm misreading that but just think about it, dude. It's really easy to overlook shady shit people do when you're in love (or really like them or whatever). Then somewhere down the line you realize you've been disrespected and not treated how you should have been.

, time to let go, dude. Fuck her. That's some immature shit she pulled and she's not worth your time on any level.

[klonopin]

I really appreciate this advice, it's something I needed to hear. At the same time though, I think you're misreading me a little. I'm 21, I sleep around, and in my mind the distinction between friend and more-than-friend is pretty fungible. It's highly improbable that this girl and I will spend more than a week in the same place for at least the next five years. Before I came home, she was someone with whom I'd done a lot of great shit and believed to be a good and interesting person. Now that I've left for school, she's someone with whom I've done even more great shit and has done one really shitty thing to me but whom I still believe to be a good and interesting person. There are other good and interesting people in my life with whom I do great shit. There's a lot of people I'm excited to get to know, platonically and biblically, now that I'm back in Chicago. Given all this, why would I make this shitty thing into something bigger than it is and, in doing so, remove one more good, interesting person from my life? Like yea, I'll never make the mistake of sleeping in one house with her and her ex-boyfriend again but, so long as I do that, what's the worst that could happen?
You feel me?

[asianfuntime]

[youtube]/watch?v=KEn3_kMAIrI#t=76[/youtube]

to anyone who got anything off of the bape sale, I hope you played this song

[anonomous]

I did tell him that it wasn't cool at all and he should've told me earlier, he gave me a bunch of bullshit replies like "What do you want me to say? I can't tell you it's going to be rainbows and flowers. If we really are close, then it wouldn't matter. Dude, it's the past though." What a fucking cunt though for telling me what to do and how to feel, it was a load of bullshit. if we REALLY are close he wouldn't have been together with my ex and actually respected me. If we REALLY are close he would've told me earlier. He told me that he would've told me but not in front of all our friends. This is also bullshit, he could've pulled me aside and told me right there.

At this point, listening to his stubborn bullshit excuses, I just decided to say fuck it, i've made my point that it's not cool, but i'm cutting them out of my lives.

It's all good though, fuck this guy, fuck my ex. Lost 2 friends but made a dozen more friends ever since I came back.

[bels]

Can't even keep up with all the exes in this thread.

[exprof]

I'm the original ex (prof)

edit: in real feel talk news, my sister has been gone for the past couple days and my dogs been sleeping in her bed. i luv dogs (love)

[starfox64]

i'm not an alcoholic but i think i have a drinking problem

[chilljin]

as someone who has always been quite stalwart I have never tried to let my emotions overcome me i am in a bad place

i am sat in an office by myself it is right near 12pm and i feel like my heart is being ripped and pulled to shreds
i have no idea how to deal with this or what to do but i can't think straight

love sucks

[bels]

Not much that can be done except riding it out.

[seth83292]

Guys I'm at the airport on the way to move to Germany and I'm exploding with excitement!!!!

But I already miss my dog so so so much. I took like a million pictures of his stupid face before I left.