Some teen online said I'm lame for posting while drunk

[WikiZuHeltzer]

Night two in wazzer: we went aroknf a load of pkaces, warrinhton is so coo l man. Ponud drinks everywhere irsx amazing. Next qtop franxe at the end of august which is beuond likely yo br equalky as horrendous. Fuck q ducj

[missrowan]

why is it that every tune in drunk I end up at mcdobaldsasss

yall are great I love yall ugh

[silvaeri]

I just jniated new people to my design fraternity and now a few of is are real drunk in an awesome suburban home and I love life right now

[silvaeri]

Feeling slightly less love towards people right now. Babysitting two young drunks who haven't learned to handle their liquor yet. I love them, but damn did they mess up my lovely host's house and are currently sleeping semi soundly in the cellar bathroom

[brlmski]

poeming is the greatest way to reconnect with old friends via text or fb message or snapchat or whatever.

[darfest]

So I got drunk tonight with a few of my friends and I started thinking of this thread and all of you guys and this summer and summer is one of those times where nothing really matters to me and I do nothing and it's all really strange and stuff. I mean I don't really read a lot of the stuff going on here during the summer and whatever but I still like you and I hope you'll have me when the summer is over or whatever. I like all of you xoxo. also when I was riding my bike today I hit a bumblebee and it hit me right in my chest ( I was wearing my limit linen so it was really slutty) right on my bare chest and it hurt and it still stings a lot I hope he's allright tho. love goes out to all the bulmbenbees

[seth83292]

everyone in berlin is so friendly (smiling))))))

[zayg]

getting drunk tonight

yes

[purkinje]

[exprof]

apologizing for my lack of knowledge of american geography after a couple beers

[silvaeri]

i met a really fucking cool girl from tinder and now she's going back to southern california in a few days. :(

[sidewalk]

polo

[sidewalk]

I work for a corporation.

[ramseames]

"I work for a company that works for a company that works for an oil company"

[ramseames]

It's 12:19 and I've already been heading home from the bar since like 12:05. No one stays out late anymore, seriously tho...

[popcorn]

I'm in a band*

*of rag-tag internet cool kids on a mission to dress like a side character in Seinfeld.

[SteevMike]

BAR HAS COMPLIMENTARY MILK AND COOKIES AFTER MIDNIGHT

[oldtrailmix]

bowl of chicken soup and pictures of karen gillan pretty good hangover cure

edit: oh god nevermind

it wasn't you karen it was the soup

[vgtbls]

Threw a hammer off a porch and almost hit a group of freshman girls

Ran home holding the hammer at 3 am and got stopped by the cops

good times

[rjbman]

Did you get a ticket or anything?

[vgtbls]

Nope. Conversation went like this:

Her: Where are you coming from?
Me: [REDACTED]
Her: Where are you going?
Me: [REDACTED]
Her: Is... is that a hammer?
Me: Ohhh... yeah. Me and some friends were pulling up a carpet in my house
(NOTE: This is true, but that was before playing stump for two hours)
Her: ................
Me: I'm gonna put it in my backpack.
Her: Okay.

And then she drove away

[SteevMike]

A local weatherman said he was going to slap me.

[torukun]

I am drinking a Czech liquor that tastes like chai tea. It's good. I'm wondering if I can get it in Montreal.

[torukun]

[sidewalk]

polo

[maj]

Shit drunk people who get argumentative, annoying and insist on telling people how drunk they are or how many they've drunk and ruin any banter going. Horrid.

[maj]

Fucking now carrying him home, I swear if he throws up on my Maggy h I will leave him in the road

[maj]

Walk him 45 minutes home after he's done rolling on the floor, magically sobers up when he gets to his door now I'm left with a 2 hour walk when I was offered a lift but didn't want to leave him in the street. Fuck him

[ramseames]

you did the right thing though bro

[missrowan]

as fuckin promised i am buzy gettib smashd at dis wedding and dessery hasny even been served uet

what an i doing with my life and also why am i mot at mcdonaldsaa