Feelings

[schiaparelli]

[ramseames]

thats just trunks right?

thought he got banned

[can-]

^ care tags has a citizens arrest feature where users are temporarily banned by cumulative neg count. this is indeed the case for our friend No One

[Bryan]

mini rant avert yer eyes



today i had my friend take pix of me in my #firealphet (to be posted to WAWYT soon) and whenever i see a picture of my own face i just get so bloody disgusted. Every. Single. Picture. That includes my face just gets me so horrified. There's so much shit that drives my self esteem down and it's so wack, my friends and (former) co-workers always reassured/complimented me but in the end i still just look at these photos of myself and say "wow now THIS is disgusting". After i got home today i took a good look at that picture and just went straight to the gym and ran for 2 miles nonstop (3 miles in 30 mins total) i just feel like no matter what i can never get over my self esteem issues.

i also stumbled upon my "ex" on tinder the other day and that got me pretty fucked up tbh. perhaps my lack of interaction with girls is bringing down my self esteem aswell? iunno.

sorry

[sabisabi]

love is such a stupid, silly thing but why do i still want it so bad?

[can-]

Where is the football thread

Go hawks

[charybdis]

I don't even know who you are, but honestly fuck off. This is the exact reason girls don't post here. People leaving shit comments that are ~intended as a joke~ and then girls saying something about it being brushed off as oversensitive. I thought the entire point of this forum was an effort to be better.

I stopped posting here regularly for various reasons, but I kind of gave up after cameron left some shitty thirsty-ass comments on one of eli's fits and no one thought anything was wrong with them.

[can-]

I never posted anything of the sort. take that shit rhetoric with you on your way out.

[smiles]

To be fair in that specific instance, we should probably ask Eli how she felt about it. And what Cameron said is a bit ambiguous.

Obviously though, there is a problem with people commenting on a women's outfit based on how personally attractive they find it, and feeling like they have the right to make that kind of comment. Jokes included. Especially when it doesn't happen the other way around.

[ramdomthought]

the clear solution is to sexualize every male who posts

[Suquida]

My own insecurities are destroying my life.

[evilfriends]

I want to be completely independent (financially and emotionally) and move to a huge city where no one knows me but at the same time I know I could never do that.

also whenever I think about myself 5 or 10 years in the future I see myself alone, which is probably just a fancy way to say tfw no gf.

[agvs]

Man, life turns on a dime sometimes. I was ecstatic to be done with an album I was working on. My wife got switched to a day shift so I've ben seeing her more. Things were going good and then bam...my dad has cancer. Trying to remain optimistic. He seems to be (he's a doctor so I trust his optimism). At the same time the realistic stats on Multiple Myeloma are bleak. We'll know soon if he's responding to treatment. It's just hard to see him hobbled and diminished. Also found out my sister is probably moving to Florida. Gonna be crushed if she does. She's the glue of my family. Go fuck yourself, 2015. You asshole.

[thephfactor]

boss confronted me about my lack of productivity today and it's just kind of hit me how completely unideal this job is. i'm not doing the job i was applying for/thought i was hired for, which is help develop the software, so it's not like im gaining any skill that i can use in the future, and even if/when i do move on to that i will be writing in vbasic, which i don't think is like industry standard ( at least not any industries i want to get into ). also i fucking hate insurance, and it's pretty far removed from any of the fields im interested in going. the job is also very far from where i live and go to school considering i don't have a car, making scheduling very awkward and giving me miniscule hours as a result, making everything more difficult. When my classmates are making more money working in this cool student-based design and dev team on campus it's a little much to commute an hour both ways to go back to an office and do QA surrounded by old people in a cube. The most depressing thing is though that I know I'll just keep on working here until they fire me because im so adverse to confrontation and change. also depressing is the idea that i wouldn't get hired for the cool dev team anyway because im a terrible employee.

[xinijia]

Its the first time I've been sick in years and it's been pretty bad so far. I've barely gotten out of bed for days and I keep feeling bad about the fact that on the first day I spent hours in the hospital as a visitor (which is probably the place I got the virus from), hope I didn't infect anyone else. Also I've been missing and forgetting all sorts of important things. I felt like dying before I took some medication yesterday but now that I think of it it wasn't too bad I mean headaches and coughing up phlegm is miles ahead of throwing up and passing out right.
I haven't been sick much so I own to being a wimp.

[freddy]

i think it's ironic how we sexualize fashion as spectators..and how the industry as a whole is largely based on sexual appeal, yet such fanfare doesn't translate well into real life. Sometimes I want to wear more risqué pieces but I feel intimated by the same-sex making advances and catcalling me for my outfits. We can't stop how one feels about how they feel and interpret our outfits. What we wear will trigger a good or positive emotional reaction. Such is life online or irl.

I feel sometimes we are so used to projecting our unconscious feels and critiquing fashion that we forget behind the fit-pics lies real non-rented human people with all sorts of thresholds in terms of feels. That's not to say that models don't feel the discomfort in their line of work and industry as reported too?! I think online is a bit more challenging for the anonymity of such remarks.

In a perfect world, I feel everyone should to sort out the blurred lines between reality and fantasy behind fit pictures, especially on the cyberspace dimension where we are working with obstrued and filtered human interrelatedness through the binary 1s and 0s of our digital devices and computers. I dunno unfortunately I think in fashion there will always be hecklers who will objectify others that we will have to face and come to terms with. It's all in the pursuit of self-expressing ourselves stylistically..

[AmericanPie]

I helped my mom start consolidating and clearing out our storage unit today, and we found her box of photographs. She wanted to throw them away, but I ended up taking them and starting to look through them. All of my parents' photographs, my grandparent's photographs, 4x5 documentation slides of my parents' artwork, letters to and from both my parents, photo albums, scrapbooks, the whole nine yards. I just spent the last half hour flipping through photographs and sobbing uncontrollably without a real reason why. It's weird and really difficult to process something that's so much my own, and also completely alien to me at the same time. I don't really know what to make of it all right now.

But give me a few days, and I'll have a shit ton of stuff to post in WAYWT: Ancestor Edition...

[smass]

This is the only place I can post without any of my friends seeing. I am extremely frustrated. They are all self-absorbed, conceited jerks that can't get out of their own way. I say I love them to death and I don't know what I would do without them...but I do know what I would do without them, I would probably be happier. There's really only one person I want to stay friends with and thats my friend Grant, who I met the first day of college. I was the first person he came out to at college and we kinda have that special bond that we don't have with anyone else. I haven't been seeing him much because of our schedules which is sad. He's usually the one I vent to, but I don't know how to bring this up to him. My roommate, and our two other friends are the main problem. They are consumed with meeting guys and drinking and that just isn't my ~scene~ anymore. They get angry when we don't invite them anywhere even though they haven't ONCE invited us anywhere. My roommate is the most insecure, dependent person I know who can't do anything without the aid of others. I am the complete opposite and I know I can't be mad at her personal issues, but it's hard to be around that 24/7 and not be able to do anything about it. Overall, I just don't want to be around these people anymore. I can't help but to separate myself from them and they're noticing. Part of me doesn't care at all, but the other part doesn't want to not have any friends. I came to college to get away from this high school crap but I find myself slowly becoming immersed in it.

[purkinje]

[une_impasse]

i'm not one to vent but i don't really have anywhere else to let this out so:

the person i've been seeing for almost 6 months recently revealed that they plan on moving back home (across the US) when their lease is up, and that when they first started noticed me/showed interest they didn't really expect anything to come of it so they never mentioned it. i've very much fallen for this person and now my head is ripped between ending it now and somehow trying to be friends despite how we feel or sticking with it knowing full well it's probably going to over for us by summer unless i somehow decide to drop everything and move with them while i'm currently trying to move into my own apartment and move up the ranks in my job. i know they are dead set on moving across the country and that i am probably the only obstacle for that sense of happiness and comfort they're looking for.

i keep imagining having to let them go out of my life unless something changes and i really am not equipped to do this, i am naturally a very selfless person and want everyone to be happy first and foremost often at my expense, but i really don't know if i can say goodbye.

this is quite literally the second time this has happened to me, only this is far more serious and i know i'm going to be hurt, it's just a matter of when and how badly. i spent about 5 hours going through my clothes and donating them as a result of this whole mess which i guess is a positive. thanks for reading or noticing and carry on.

[TheLouisVuittonPawn]

Just looked at pics of myself from a year ago. Hurts

[oneseriouslady]

so... i've missed two days of work (today is the second day) because i'm super sick with a fever. and i feel really guilty for missing work. i don't know why i'm like this.

[ptozzi]

[JonjoShelvey]

who else finna be alone on valentines cuz u hate urself too much to even consider the idea that someone could like you/find you attractive

its ok tho i got on a new antidepressant and gonna start going to a therapist soon

[Bryan]

[alby]

high and listening to hospice Classic friday

[Suquida]

Being cheated on kinda sucks

[cormac]

Happy Valentine's day, everyone! I'm currently spending my night in a coffee shop working on a paper, but I feel content. I always worry about moving forward and the next big challenge without recognizing what I have.

[nexus6]

Insomnia is fucking me up badly since forever. Sometimes I just force myself and go to bed as early as I can, but then I start thinking about things that wouldn't let me sleep even if I was tired out to the bone.

[maj]

insomnia is really hard, the things i do which don't completely stop it but help me get all right sleep are

- keep the bedroom for sleep, do all your daytime work out of bed and in a different room if you can, only go into your bedroom to sleep

- set a bed time, no "i'll go in a few minutes" stop what you're doing at say 11pm or earlier if you want and go to the bed room, no phone, no computer, no music.

- to get yourself ready for bed and wind down, turn the heating up, have a hot bath or shower, drink some warm drinks.

- NO CAFFINE AFTER 5PM YOU DONT NEED IT YOUR DAY IS OVER

- when in bed do some breathing exercises, clear your head (easy someone telling you to, harder in practice but just focus on long, deep breathes and slow exhales), tense all your muscles one at a time and focus on doing that, start at the top and work your way down, harder than you think at distracts you nicely.

- if you miss a night dont fall into the trap of going it doesn't work, habits take time to build and today or any other day is the perfect time to start, no "i'll start monday" stuff.

- the biggest one however is if you're not already, go talk to a counselor. insomnia is more a sign of built up and underlying stresses and anxiety's that when worked through instantly improve your sleep.

these may help, they may not everyone is different but i highly recommend a solid routine.