Feelings

[CheerUpBrokeBoy]

http://abc7news.com/news/cal-student-fo ... us/588462/

i was in the same high school class as this dude. absolutely insane soccer player, but also really quiet and good-natured. dude was the man in high school, i really looked up to him.

everything about this is shitty. rest easy, fellow teen

[weqe]

Got a cool skateboard. Immediately ate shit trying to be cool on the skateboard. Life is pain.

[Bryan]

interview w/ ippudo went well i suppose, they said they'd schedule me for a trail host shift this week (interview was last week & i was expecting an email from them around friday) but alas nothing. emailed them today tho in hopes there's still a chance.

girl basically gone and my insecurities are still ruining my life BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I GOT THIS:

( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )

oh yeah in a talk with my best friend, we basically established that im probably anorexic, with some form of Body Dismorphia and i have a warped perception of my face. the way i see myself is as follows: 1) nose way too fat/big 2) lips waaayyy off balance aka i am a sonic character 3) cheeks are chubby (slowly getting thinner due to my intermittent fasting plan) and das it ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° )

[AmericanPie]

So I sort of unintentionally got involved with a girl who's living with her boyfriend, and the studio director for the film department at my school just told me I'm the only guy he's ever found attractive "as a straight man," kissed my hand, and then went in for a hug and kissed my neck.

What the fuck is happening this week?

[GummyBear]

My roommate can sort of be nasty when she drinks, like she'll make snippy comments and almost act like she wants to start an argument and I just don't want to hang out with her at all anymore but when our friends are over it's awkward cos I have to. Ugh I hate this.

[IsaiahSchafer]

binchesssss

[can-]

i have found that living somewhere that is not your hometown, independently, as an adult, can do tremendous things for your growth. when you remove yourself from people, routines and geography that you have gotten used to you force yourself to find new ways to keep yourself busy and productive, and the groundwork you lay down is current with the most recent version of yourself and is that much more satisfying/healthy.


and it's not like you are closing any doors-- if or when you move back to SLC, you would be bringing back all these new experiences and standards for living.

I could be projecting, I just left my hometown for the first time since graduating college in 2011 (only for 3 months) but it was such a learning experience to drop everything and move somewhere where I had to make new friends, had to find work, had to learn a new city, etc.

[mahi-mahi]

This year has been shit.

[arcticsound]

Agreed. Not necessarily 2015, just like the last 12 months have been hell.

[meatjacket]

i havent made a friend in over 3 years!

it all changed today :-)

[harmsalmon]

feeling an unusual wave of zen-like calm come over me as some things come to a close and significant decisions are made. opening night of the play I wrote and directed is finally tomorrow night, I have only a month left a high school, I have miraculously chosen a college to attend, and I am getting some surgery done right before I leave for NY in August

[thephfactor]

Feeling very depressed last night and this morning about things unrelated to losing to a team from fucking Rhode Island. a real sense of helplessness is starting to kick in. i can't do much for myself socially but i've put myself out there a lot more in recent months and it all seems so wasted. I thought I had made some friends, made some progress. Now I realize that I am just as alone as ever. More determined than ever to try to work out my issues with professionals and take meds and/or do therapy but doesn't stop me from feeling really shitty right about now.

[bels]

As far as I understand it feeling not alone is a very, very, very slow process for almost everyone. Don't beat yourself up about it.

[agvs]

[alby]

A lot of weird things are starting to happen in my life, but I'm taking it day by day and dealing with it as it goes. I was talking to one of my friends about some stuff, and we ended up talking about depression for a bit. He said something I've never thought of but makes a lot of sense to me.

A lot of times when people discuss depression they often explain it as something that is treatable and a sure fire way to do so, and that you shouldn't be depressed and depression isn't natural. My friend explained how all of this causes such insecurity for the depressed, that it just adds on to the depression. It causes a cycle of feeling bad for yourself about feeling bad about yourself, and it will absolutely destroy you. It's impossible that us as humans won't go through some sort of loss. Everyone is alive and dynamic, and everyone will be sad at some point. I think the best thing for someone to do when their sad is accept that they are sad and let themselves be sad, and then grow from that experience.

[brlmski]

sometimes i feel most alone in a room surrounded by my friends

[Blastoise]

I'm realizing that mutual love and caring for one another isn't enough to make a relationship work. My girlfriend and I have absolutely nothing in common anymore. It's gotten to the point where we argue because we have nothing to talk about besides school. Even then it doesn't make for good conversation because she isn't happy with school right now. I love her and everything but at this point I think it has to be over. This is such a conflicting feeling.

[adhi]

I can't believe it... and I don't know how many of you guys have heard yet...

Haydn 'Disby' Woodall has passed away. His username on c-t was 'hunnish'. I don't know where else to post but this thread. I'm absolutely shocked. I don't know any of the details but... wow.

Rest in peace.

[mofaux]

I had a really great stepdad who raised me, taught me that getting in fights was wrong, taught me how to do math, etc. he died of a heart attack when i was a teenager. My mother is bipolar, she would tell me I was an accident and my father's fault, she spent all her money on herself and my sister and I ended up stealing food like oliver twist or some shit ( mostly candy) . a friend's mom took me in and let me live in her house. taught me to cook, and showed me kindness that my real never never did. she died of breast cancer when i was 18.

I made plenty of friends over the years. When I was 20, my friend jon got caught in a fire and died. It's been 5 years since then, and his father still posts to his facebook wall every week. A poem, a picture of jon as a kid, a story about what he did while he was growing up. that man's grief is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen

A couple years later, our friend matt OD'd on painkillers and died. he had a lot of close friends who loved him, and no one saw it coming. Everyone who knew jon knew matt, and we already had our suits ready for the funeral.

Last year, our friend asher moved out to california was stabbed to death by his schizophrenic roommate.

Now haydn is dead. we'd get drunk and he'd put his arm around me and tell him i was like his big brother, and i'd tell him he was my little brother that couldn't hold his goddamn liquor.

For some of you this is the first time losing someone close to you. It's normal to be conflicted about the way your're feeling. It's ok to feel numb or confused, you shouldn't feel guilty about not feeling some kind of paralyzing despair like a movie scene. Everyone has a different grieving process and you shouldn't feel bad about the way you're feeling.

For those of you who are losing someone for the first time, I can tell you from experience that it doesn't get any easier, but it also doesn't get any harder than this. I'm going to miss haydn a lot, and i'm glad a got a chance to know him.

[youtube]?v=x29iy1KhoA0[/youtube]

[cormac]

Although I didn't ever talk to Haydn much, I saw less him than TWO DAYS AGO. Fuck.

Rest in peace.

[soundclip989]

Haydn is the one who invited me to care-tags. I'm glad I still have all the clothes I bought from him. He was always trying to tempt me with cool garms.
I had to put my cat to sleep unexpectedly two days ago, this is terrible news to hear..

[cormac]

It really fucking sucks to walk parts of campus where I used to see him, knowing I never will again. Out of nowhere.

[kappuru]

[hooplah]

i didn't know if i could get myself together enough to write anything about this but i don't really have any one else to talk to. hearing about haydn was... fuck. it sounds weird but that was one of the hardest things i've ever had to hear about in my life. it seems so selfish to be this upset over losing someone i've never met in person and only talked to via online chats and text messages. i read through all of our old text messages about stupid stuff like whether or not to bid on ebay shit and sex and relationship stuff and whether browbones or elevator guy in the latch music video is hotter. i texted him one last time knowing i'll never get a reply.

i was at coachella tripping on acid when i found out and i went inside my tent and sobbed. i only told a couple of my friends because i didn't want to bad trip anyone else but i feel like reality sobered me up instantly and like nothing else mattered. i was a zombie for most of sunday and cried inside the festival because i didn't feel like i deserved to be there.

i really don't know how to write about my feelings without saying "i" "i" "i" over and over again, which sounds incredibly selfish, so i'm really sorry if i sound like an asshole right now. haydn, i miss you so much. we hadn't talked in a really long time aside from the occasional snapchat but i've got to say you were one of the funniest people i've ever come across.

the part of me that is really gutted is the "NEBRASKA" sweatshirt he made me for secret santa two years ago is missing. i have no idea where it went and i can't stop crying when i think about how it is gone. i was re reading his text messages to me and he said he wore it around the house a couple of times to wear it in and ... yeah i feel like i can't complete this sentence.

a light has really gone out

[IsaiahSchafer]

[nick]

Hi all - this Wednesday I'm taking my first flight. This is probably honestly my 'most feared' activity due to really bad travel anxiety! Luckily, it's only an hour long. I will be staying somewhere alone for 5 days. I've never even done that for one!

However, I was wondering if any of you had any good tips/pointers for managing anxiety? Breathing/thinking exercises, whatever. It'll only be a couple hours of bad anxiety, waiting in the airport + on the plane, but I'm really trying to avoid a panic attack. Could not think of anything worse than one of those a mile above the sky. My anxiety has nothing to do with fear of death and almost everything to do with a sort of 'fear of being trapped' - the fact I'm stuck in event I feel randomly sick or something.

Is there a way to pack medicine without the original prescription bottle? That would be IMMENSELY helpful and would make this ordeal possible. ( I know this sounds ridiculous for something so many people do much much much more than, but mental problems are not necessarily 'rational'. )

Thanks.

[odradek]

Wanna know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks, and you walk around on the rug barefoot and make fists with your toes.

[fun_yunchables]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulnes ... s-practice

it's at least okay for milder anxiety attacks, i don't know how serious yours is. but it's worth trying

[ervhio]

Originally talked about college in the school thread, but I'm feeling more feely now.

College visits were cool, decided I definitely don't want to live in rural Maine for 4 years and drink my ass off, even though Colby is great otherwise.

The decision is then between a full ride to the school in my hometown or about $7500 per year in government loans at Northeastern. Academic opportunities are somewhat similar, but I love NEU and Boston a lot more, especially with a shot at some cool musical and sailing extracurriculars. I would probably get a decent job out of college (degree in science) and the debt wouldn't be crippling, but is it truly better to graduate without loans when I'm almost sure I would better enjoy the institution where I will accrue them? Hard decisions suck.

[WussWayne]

I don't feel sad or have overly negative thoughts about myself anymore because I've been taking meds for a while now but I just kinda want to be in my room all by myself fuckin around on my computer or phone. I'm starting to think I'm just really lazy and blaming it on depression is just an excuse(yes I see the contradiction) and I'm just content with not doing anything worthwhile with my life