by bels » Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:57 pm
[INT ZOLA PREDOSA MULTI STORY CAR PARK, LEVEL 6
FEDERICO MARCHETTI is leaning against a dark grey Audi and smoking a cigarette. He glances at his blackberry to check the time and sighs. A coral pink Vauxhall Corsa round a corner and screeches to a halt in front of him. NATALIE MASSENETT steps out ]
MASSENETT: Why'd you drag me all the way out here Federico. I've got a banging headache.
MARCHETTI: It's always a pleasure to see you Natalie. However I'm afraid you are thirteen minutes late and I'm unable to move my next appointment so this will have to be a brief meeting.
MASSENETT: Why could we not meet in the office like civilised people.
MARCHETTI: I have something to show you, one of my "Skunkworks" projects, set in motion at YOOX SpA long before our synergistic merger but just now bearing fruit, come with me.
[MARCHETTI leads MASSENETT into one of the car park lifts. He presses the "Call for Assistance" button and recites the password]
MARCHETTI: Eight, Eight, Eight, Eight, Technobohemian
[The lift accelerates smoothly for a moment before the doors open again and the two begin to walk through a spotless research lab complete with white lab coated science bods busying around]
MASSENETT: I'm dying for a fag.
MARCHETTI: As you know, YOOX SpA maintains the highest level of automation in the fashion e-commerce sector. Through the rigorous implementation of robotic technologies including the 5HLDN-6h garm folding robot, the EckMan discount code generating android and of course the sentient tailor's tapes that measure the size of all hems sold, we have succeeded in climbing to a dominant position that has allowed us the privilige of ha ha, acquiring a vast and diverse empire.
MASSENETT: Whatever mate, yeah? You and all your egghead mates creaming over html tags is besides the point. It's about fashion, it's about glamour, it's about getting stuff delivered to your door encased in an environmentally unsound amonut of black tissue paper.
[The two arrive at a vaguely man heighted object, obscured behind a white cloth and standing in front of a white out photography set with a camera on a tripod]
MARCHETTI: Ha ha, Natalie, indeed, yes, fashion retail was once about these things, but now I think we can all agree that most important is advanced horizontal integration and driving down overheads through marginal improvements in efficiency. To that end, BEHOLD, the new face of internet modelling, the YXBOT NINE THOUSAND.
[MARCHETTI rips away the cloth revealing a nude mannequin that presently walks to a table containing a pair of missized khakis, puts them on, walks to the camera, sets the self timer, walks in front of it and poses for the flash]
MASSENETT: Mate, have a word, yeah? A robot mannequin, fine, sure, get rid of all those prissy models, but it can't style itself. I'm putting my foot down. There's no way a robot can acheive the high levels of luxury synergy our in house stylists do.
MARCHETTI: I'm afraid I must disagree, Ms Massenett, observe; "YX BOT, how could you style those khakis?"
YXBT: Try these khakis with a luxurious Maison Margiela wool mohair sweater and shoes from Edward Green for a perfectly dressed down weekend look
MASSENETT: No.. no that's.. impossible
MARCHETTI: You see Natalie, we really have thought of everything.
MASSENETT: It's not true, it CAN'T BE TRUE.
[MARCHETTI checks his phone]
MARCHETTI: If you'll excuse me, I need seven minutes to get to my next appointment.
MASSENETT: IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
[MASSENETT pushes over the YXBT and runs from the laborator weeping]